The Adventures of Baron Munchausen. The hunting adventures of Baron Munchausen The incredible adventures of Baron Munchausen

The fantastic “Adventures of Baron Munchausen” is based on the stories of Baron Munchausen, who actually lived in Germany in the 18th century. He was a military man, served for some time in Russia and fought with the Turks. Returning to his estate in Germany, Munchausen soon became known as a witty storyteller who dreamed up the most incredible adventures. In 1781, some of them were printed. In 1785, the German writer E. Raspe processed them and published them..

HORSE ON THE ROOF

I went to Russia on horseback. It was winter. It was snowing.
The horse got tired and began to stumble. I really wanted to sleep. I almost fell out of the saddle from fatigue. But I looked in vain for an overnight stay: I didn’t come across a single village on the way. What was to be done? We had to spend the night in an open field.

There are no bushes or trees around. Only a small column stuck out from under the snow.
I somehow tied my cold horse to this post, and I lay down right there in the snow and fell asleep.

I slept for a long time, and when I woke up, I saw that I was lying not in a field, but in a village, or rather, in a small town, surrounded by houses on all sides.

What's happened? Where am I? How could these houses grow here overnight? And where did my horse go?
For a long time I did not understand what happened. Suddenly I hear a familiar neigh. This is my horse neighing. But where is he?
Neighing comes from somewhere above. I raise my head - and what?
My horse is hanging on the roof of the bell tower! He is tied to the cross itself!

In one minute I realized what was happening.
Last night this entire town, with all the people and houses, was covered in deep snow, and only the top of the cross stuck out.
I didn’t know that it was a cross, it seemed to me that it was a small post, and I tied my tired horse to it! And at night, while I was sleeping, a strong thaw began, the snow melted, and I sank to the ground unnoticed.
But my poor horse remained there, above, on the roof. Tied to the cross of the bell tower, he could not descend to the ground.
What to do?
Without hesitation, I grab the pistol, take aim and hit it right in the bridle, because I have always been an excellent shooter.

Bridle - in half.
The horse quickly descends towards me.

I jump on it and, like the wind, I gallop forward.

AMAZING HUNT

However, more amusing cases have happened to me. Once I spent the whole day hunting and in the evening I came across a vast lake in a deep forest, which was teeming with wild ducks. I have never seen so many ducks in my life!

Unfortunately, I didn't have a single bullet left. And just this evening I was waiting for my place big company friends, and I wanted to treat them to game. I am generally a hospitable and generous person. My lunches and dinners were famous throughout St. Petersburg. How will I get home without ducks?

I stood indecisive for a long time and suddenly remembered that there was a piece of lard left in my hunting bag.
Hooray! This lard will be an excellent bait. I take it out of my bag, quickly tie it to a long and thin string and throw it into the water.
Ducks, seeing food, immediately swim to the lard. One of them greedily swallows it.

But lard is slippery and, quickly passing through the duck, pops out behind it!

Thus, the duck ends up on my string. Then the second duck swims up to the bacon, and the same thing happens to it.
Duck after duck swallows the lard and puts it on my string like beads on a string. Not even ten minutes pass before all the ducks are strung on it.
You can imagine how much fun it was for me to look at such rich booty! All I had to do was pull out the caught ducks and take them to my cook in the kitchen.
This will be a feast for my friends!
But dragging this many ducks was not so easy.

I took a few steps and was terribly tired. Suddenly - you can imagine my amazement! — the ducks flew into the air and lifted me to the clouds.
Anyone else in my place would be at a loss, but I am a brave and resourceful person. I made a rudder out of my coat and, steering the ducks, quickly flew towards the house.

But how to get down?
Very simple! My resourcefulness helped me here too. I twisted the heads of several ducks, and we began to slowly sink to the ground.
I fell right into the chimney of my own kitchen! If you had only seen how amazed my cook was when I appeared before him on the fire!

Fortunately, the cook had not yet had time to light the fire.

BLIND PIG

Yes, many amazing things have happened to me!
One day I was making my way through the thicket of a dense forest and I saw: a wild pig, still very small, was running, and behind the pig was a large pig.

I shot, but, alas, I missed.
My bullet flew right between the pig and the pig.
The piglet squealed and ran into the forest, but the pig remained rooted to the spot.
I was surprised: why doesn’t she run away from me? But as I got closer, I realized what was going on. The pig was blind and did not understand the roads.

She could walk through the forests only holding the tail of her pig.
My bullet tore off this tail. The pig ran away, and the pig, left without him, did not know where to go. She stood helplessly, holding a piece of his tail in her teeth. Then a brilliant idea occurred to me. I grabbed this tail and took the pig to my kitchen. The poor blind woman obediently trudged after me, thinking that the pig was still leading her!

Yes, I must repeat again that resourcefulness is a great thing!

HOW I CAUGHT A BOAR

Another time I came across a wild boar in the forest. It was much more difficult to deal with him. I didn't even have a gun with me.

I started to run, but he rushed after me like mad and would certainly have pierced me with his fangs if I had not hidden behind the first oak tree I came across.

The boar ran into an oak tree, and its fangs sank so deeply into the tree trunk that he could not pull them out.
- Yeah, gotcha, darling! - I said, coming out from behind the oak tree. - Wait a minute! Now you won't leave me!
And, taking a stone, I began to drive sharp fangs even deeper into the tree so that the boar could not free himself,

and then he tied him with a strong rope and, putting him on a cart, triumphantly took him to his home.

That’s why the other hunters were surprised! They could not even imagine that such a ferocious beast could be caught alive without expending a single charge.

EXTRAORDINARY DEER

However, even better miracles have happened to me. One day I was walking through the forest and treating myself to sweet, juicy cherries that I bought along the way. And suddenly there was a deer in front of me! Slender, beautiful, with huge branchy horns!

And, as luck would have it, I didn’t have a single bullet!
The deer stands and looks at me calmly, as if he knows that my gun is not loaded.
Luckily, I still had a few cherries left, so I loaded the gun with a cherry pit instead of a bullet. Yes, yes, don’t laugh, an ordinary cherry pit.
A shot rang out, but the deer only shook its head. The bone hit him on the forehead and did no harm. In an instant, he disappeared into the thicket of the forest.
I was very sorry that I missed such a beautiful animal.

A year later I was hunting in the same forest again. Of course, by that time I had completely forgotten about the cherry pit story.
Imagine my amazement when a magnificent deer jumped out of the thicket of the forest right at me, with a tall, spreading cherry tree growing between its antlers! Oh, believe me, it was very beautiful: a slender deer with a slender tree on its head!

I immediately guessed that this tree grew from that small bone that last year served as a bullet for me. This time I had no shortage of charges. I took aim, fired, and the deer fell to the ground dead.

Thus, with one shot I immediately got both the roast and the cherry compote, because the tree was covered with large, ripe cherries. I must confess that I have never tasted more delicious cherries in my entire life.

HORSE ON THE TABLE

I guess I haven’t told you anything about my horses yet?
Meanwhile, many wonderful stories happened to them and me.
It happened in Lithuania. I was visiting a friend who was passionate about horses.
And so, when he was showing the guests his best horse, of which he was especially proud, the horse broke free from the bridle, knocked over four grooms and rushed across the yard like crazy. Everyone ran away in fear.
There was not a single daredevil who would dare approach the enraged animal.
Only I was not at a loss, because, possessing amazing courage, since childhood I have been able to bridle the wildest horses.
With one leap I jumped onto the horse's ridge and instantly tamed him.

Immediately feeling my strong hand, he submitted to me like a small child. I rode around the entire yard in triumph, and suddenly I wanted to show my art to the ladies who were sitting at the tea table.
How to do this?
Very simple! I directed my horse to the window and, like a whirlwind, flew into the dining room.

The ladies were very scared at first. But I made the horse jump onto the tea table and pranced so skillfully among the glasses and cups that I did not break a single glass or even the smallest saucer.
The ladies liked this very much; they began to laugh and clap their hands, and my friend, fascinated by my amazing dexterity, asked me to accept this magnificent horse as a gift.

I was very happy about his gift, since I was getting ready to go to war and had been looking for a horse for a long time.
An hour later I was already racing on a new horse towards Turkey, where fierce battles were going on at that time.

HALF HORSE

In battles, of course, I was distinguished by desperate courage and flew into the enemy ahead of everyone else.
Once, after a hot battle with the Turks, we captured an enemy fortress. I was the first to break into it and, having driven all the Turks out of the fortress, galloped to the well to water the hot horse.

The horse drank and could not quench his thirst. Several hours passed, and he still did not look away from the well. What a miracle! I was amazed. But suddenly a strange splashing sound was heard behind me.
I looked back and almost fell out of the saddle in surprise. It turned out that the entire back part of my horse was cut off completely and the water that he drank flowed freely behind him, without lingering in his stomach! This created a vast lake behind me. I was stunned. What kind of strangeness is this?

But then one of my soldiers galloped up to me, and the mystery was instantly explained.
When I galloped after the enemies and burst into the gates of the enemy fortress, the Turks just at that moment slammed the gates and cut off the back half of my horse. It's like they cut him in half! This hind half remained for some time near the gate, kicking and dispersing the Turks with blows of its hooves, and then galloped off into the neighboring meadow.
- She grazes there even now! - the soldier told me.
- Grazing? Can't be!
- See for yourself.
I rode on the front half of the horse towards the meadow. There I actually found the back half of the horse. She was grazing peacefully in a green clearing.

I immediately sent for a military doctor, and he, without thinking twice, sewed both halves of my horse with thin laurel twigs, since he did not have any thread on hand.

Both halves grew together perfectly, and the laurel branches took root in my horse’s body, and within a month I had a bower of laurel branches above my saddle.

Sitting in this cozy gazebo, I accomplished many amazing feats.

BETWEEN CROCODILE AND LION

When the storm ended, we raised anchor and two weeks later we safely arrived on the island of Ceylon.
The eldest son of the Ceylon governor invited me to go hunting with him.

I agreed with great pleasure. We went to the nearest forest. The heat was terrible, and I must admit that, out of habit, I was very soon tired.
And the governor’s son, a strong young man, felt great in this heat. He lived in Ceylon since childhood. The Ceylon sun was nothing to him, and he walked briskly along the hot sands.
I fell behind him and soon got lost in the thicket of an unfamiliar forest.

I'm walking and hear a rustling sound. I look around: in front of me is a huge lion, which has opened its mouth and wants to tear me to pieces. What to do here? My gun was loaded with small shot, which would not even kill a partridge. I fired, but the shot only irritated the ferocious beast, and he attacked me with redoubled fury.

In horror, I started to run, knowing that it was in vain, that the monster would overtake me in one leap and tear me to pieces. But where am I running? Ahead of me, a huge crocodile opened its mouth, ready to swallow me at that very moment.

What to do? What to do?
Behind is a lion, in front is a crocodile, to the left is a lake, to the right is a swamp infested with poisonous snakes.
In mortal fear, I fell on the grass and, closing my eyes, prepared for inevitable death. And suddenly something seemed to roll and crash over my head. I opened my eyes slightly and saw an amazing sight that brought me great joy: it turns out that the lion, rushing at me at the moment when I was falling to the ground, flew over me and fell straight into the mouth of the crocodile!
The head of one monster was in the throat of the other, and both strained with all their strength to free themselves from each other.

I jumped up, pulled out a hunting knife and cut off the lion's head with one blow. A lifeless body fell at my feet.

Then, without wasting any time, I grabbed the gun and with the butt of the gun began to drive the lion’s head even deeper into the crocodile’s mouth, so that he eventually suffocated.

thin V. Bordzilovsky

The governor's son returned and congratulated me on my victory over two forest giants.

The book was written in 1786.
Retold for children by K. Chukovsky.
The text is based on the edition: E. Raspe. The Adventures of Baron Munchausen. - St. Petersburg: Comet, 1996.

Raspe R. E. fairy tale "The Adventures of Baron Munchausen"

Genre: literary fairy tale

The main characters of the fairy tale "The Adventures of Baron Munchausen" and their characteristics

1. Baron Munchausen, a great inventor and dreamer. He made up such wonderful stories that I just wanted to believe them. A decisive, courageous, even courageous, resourceful person.

1. Munchausen tells amazing stories to his listeners and guests every evening
2. He describes his adventures in Russia, tells various incidents while hunting.
3. Munchausen ends up in the Russian-Turkish war, takes the city by storm and is captured.
4. Munchausen finds himself on the Moon, and then lowers himself from the Moon on a rope.
5. Munchausen travels across seas and countries, and twice ends up in the stomach of a fish.
6. Munchausen gives up traveling and lives a quiet life

What does the fairy tale "The Adventures of Baron Munchausen" teach?
The fairy tale teaches honesty and truthfulness, but fiction and fantasy. Teaches resourcefulness and courage. He teaches to approach any adventures and any challenges with humor. Teaches you to be cheerful and never lose heart.

Review of the fairy tale "The Adventures of Baron Munchausen"
This is a collection of very funny stories, which, of course, were invented by Baron Munchausen, but he came up with such a funny and interesting idea that reading them is a pleasure. Of course, I understand that everything he told is fiction, but sometimes fiction helps not only brighten up life, but also makes it brighter and more interesting.

Proverbs for the fairy tale "The Adventures of Baron Munchausen"
Every joke has a bit of truth.
It happens that nothing happens.
He lied until lunch, and left it until dinner.
I can’t get tired of lying, if only I had someone to listen to.
People lie - they lie, ours lies - they won’t lie.

Read the summary, a brief retelling of the fairy tale “The Adventures of Baron Munchausen” chapter by chapter:
The most truthful person on earth
A little old man with a big nose tells amazing things. Everyone laughs at him. but he is sure that everything told is true.
Chapter 1. Horse on the roof
Munchausen travels through Russia in winter. Snowing. He can't find the village. Finally he stops in a field and ties his horse to some post. In the morning, Munchausen wakes up in the middle of the city, and his horse hangs on the cross of the bell tower.
It turns out it got warmer overnight and all the snow melted. Munchausen shoots the bridle and the horse descends from the bell tower.
Chapter 2. A wolf harnessed to a sleigh
Munchausen bought a sleigh and rode through the forest. He was chased by a wolf, who jumped over the baron and began to eat the horse. Munchausen cracked his whip and the wolf found himself in the harness instead of a horse. So he took Munchausen to St. Petersburg.
Chapter 3. Sparks from the eyes
One day Munchausen went duck hunting, but forgot the flint at home. Then he remembered how sparks were pouring out of his eyes and hit himself on the forehead with all his might. Sparks flew, the gun fired, and Munchausen killed ten ducks at once.
Chapter 4. Amazing Hunt
Munchausen went after the ducks and used lard for bait. The lard was slippery and slipped through the duck. So there were a lot of ducks on the rope at once. Munchausen was heavily dragging the rope with the ducks, and they suddenly flew and lifted the baron into the air. Munchausen began to adjust his coat and, flying up to the house, knocked off the heads of several ducks. He fell straight into the chimney of the house.
Chapter 5. Partridges on a ramrod
One day Munchausen spent all his bullets, and then suddenly the partridges took off. He loaded the gun with a ramrod and strung seven partridges on the ramrod at once.
Chapter 6. Fox on a needle
One day Munchausen saw a beautiful black-brown fox and, in order not to spoil the skin, he shot it with a needle. The needle pinned the fox's tail to the tree, and Munchausen began to whip the fox until it jumped out of its skin and ran away.
Chapter 7. Blind Pig
One day Munchausen saw a piglet in the forest, followed by a pig. He fired and the bullet went right between the animals. The piglet ran away, but the pig remained standing - she was blind and walked holding the piglet's tail. Then Munchausen grabbed the tail and led the pig straight into the kitchen.
Chapter 8. How I caught a boar
One day Munchausen hid from a boar behind a tree and the boar stuck its tusks into the tree. Munchausen drove the boar's tusks deeper into the oak tree with a stone and brought it home.
Chapter 9. An extraordinary deer
One day, Munchausen shot a deer with a cherry pit because he had run out of bullets. The deer ran away.
On next year Munchausen met this deer with a cherry tree on his head. He killed a deer and cooked the meat and cherry compote.
Chapter 10. The Wolf Inside Out
One day Munchausen met a wolf. He rushed at him, and Munchausen put his hand into his mouth. And he stuck his hand deep into it until he grabbed the wolf by the entrails. Then Munchausen pulled with all his might and turned the wolf inside out.
Chapter 11
One day Munchausen was running away from a mad dog and it bit his fur coat. After some time, the fur coat went berserk and bit the uniform. She had to be shot.
Chapter 12. Eight-legged hare
One day Munchausen chased a hare for three days, and when he caught up with him, he saw the hare had eight legs. Four on the stomach and four on the back. When the hare got tired, he turned over on his back and continued to run.
Chapter 13. Wonderful jacket
The dog with which Munchausen was chasing the hare died, and the baron made a jacket from its skin. Since then, this jacket pulls him to where the hares are, and a button comes off the jacket, which kills the hare.
Chapter 14. Horse on the table
Once in Lithuania, Munchausen easily tamed a furious horse and rode it across the table without breaking a single glass. The owner liked it so much that he gave the horse to Munchausen.
Chapter 15. Half a Horse
Once, during the war with the Turks, Munchausen was the first to fly into the fortress and decided to give water to the overheated horse. But the horse could not get a drink and Munchausen saw that he was sitting on half of the horse, and water was pouring out of it.
The soldiers came running and said that Munchausen galloped so fast that the Turks cut the horse into two halves with a gate. And the other half is now grazing in the meadow.
The doctor sewed the halves of the horse and from the laurel threads a laurel arbor grew on it.
Chapter 16. Riding the cannonball
Once in Turkey, Munchausen decided to count the Turkish cannons in the fortress, and jumped onto the largest cannonball. He flew to the fortress and thought that he would get there, but he couldn’t get back. Therefore, Munchausen jumped directly in the air onto a cannonball flying in the opposite direction and returned, counting all the guns.
Chapter 17. By the hair
One day Munchausen was jumping over a swamp on a horse and fell into the water. He began to drown. The horse sank, Munchausen sank. Only the braid of the wig remained on the surface. Then Munchausen grabbed the pigtail with his hands and pulled both himself and the horse out of the swamp.
Chapter 18. The Bee Shepherd and the Bears
One day Munchausen was captured and sent into slavery. He became the Sultan's bee shepherd. And so he was missing one bee. Munchausen went to look for a bee and saw two bears fighting over the bee. He threw a silver hatchet at the bears and they ran away. But Munchausen miscalculated the force and the hatchet flew to the moon.

Chapter 19. First trip to the moon
Munchausen planted Turkish beans and they quickly grew to the moon. He used them to climb to the moon and found a hatchet on a pile of straw. However, the sun burned the beans and Munchausen decided to make a rope from straw. He began to descend, but the rope was short. Then Munchausen cut off top part ropes and tied it from below. He did this many times. But when there were several miles left to the ground, the rope broke.
Munchausen fell to the ground and made a hole a mile deep. But he made steps with his nails and climbed out.
Chapter 20. Greed Punished
After this, Munchausen came up with a way to stop bears from chasing bees. He smeared the shaft with honey, and when the bear, licking the honey, put himself on the shaft, he drove a huge nail behind the bear. The Sultan himself laughed at this method of catching bears.
Chapter 21. Horses under the arms, a carriage on the shoulders
One day Munchausen was driving home from Turkey and it was bitterly cold. On a narrow road, a large carriage blocked his path. The coachman blew his horn, but not a sound came from it.
Then Munchausen unharnessed the horses, grabbed the carriage and carried it across the carriage. Then he did the same with horses. And he calmly moved on.
Chapter 22. Thawed sounds
The coachman hung the horn by the stove and soon it began to play by itself - the sounds thawed out.
Chapter 23. Storm
One day, when Munchausen was sailing in the Indian Ocean, a terrible storm occurred. She tore thousands of trees from the island and carried them into the sky. But when the storm subsided, the trees fell into place, except for one. Because just on this tree there was a peasant and his wife, who were picking cucumbers there, and when the tree began to fall, they tilted it. So the tree fell directly on the king of the island, a cruel tyrant.
Chapter 24. Between the crocodile and the lion
In Ceylon, Munchausen went hunting and met a lion. He shot the predator with small shot and only enraged him. The lion rushed at Munchausen. The baron saw a crocodile with an open mouth ahead and lay down on the grass. The lion flew into the mouth of the crocodile. Munchausen cut off the lion's head and drove it deeper into the crocodile's mouth so that it would suffocate.
Chapter 25. Meeting with a whale
Not far from America, Munchausen's ship came across a whale. The blow was so strong that the baron was thrown up to the ceiling and his head went into his stomach. Then the whale pulled the ship by the anchor until it broke. On the way back, Munchausen again met this whale, already dead. It was half a mile long. They cut off his head and found an anchor with a chain in his throat.
And then the ship sprung a leak and Munchausen saved everyone by covering the hole with a soft place.
Chapter 26. In the stomach of a fish
While Munchausen was swimming in the sea near Italy, he was swallowed by a huge fish. Munchausen got into the stomach of the fish and began to walk and stomp there. This caused the fish to jump out of the water and the sailors harpooned it.
When the sailors were cutting the fish, Munchausen got out and greeted the fishermen in Italian.
Chapter 27. My wonderful servants
The ship brought Munchausen to Turkey and the Sultan invited him, as an old acquaintance, to go on a mission to Egypt.
On the way, Munchausen met five servants: a man who ran very fast, who heard very well, who shot best of all, who was stronger than everyone, and who blew very hard.
Chapter 28. Chinese wine
When Munchausen returned from Egypt, the Sultan offered him some excellent wine. But Munchausen said that he knew the wine better and was ready to deliver it from the Bogdykhan cellar right now. The Sultan promised him as much gold as a man would carry away if the wine was brought within an hour.
Munchausen wrote a letter to China and handed it to his runner. With five minutes left before the deadline, Munchausen became worried. His listener heard that the walker was sleeping, but the shooter fired and woke him up. The wine was delivered on time. And Munchausen brought a strongman to the treasury and loaded all the Sultan’s gold onto the ship.
Chapter 29. The Chase
The Sultan became angry and sent his entire fleet in pursuit. Munchausen was scared. But his servant began to blow and the Sultan's fleet was thrown back into the harbor.
Chapter 30
Then Munchausen ended up in Spain and helped the British defend Gibraltar. He saw the Spaniards aiming a cannon at him and placed a huge cannon in that place. The cannons fired simultaneously and the cannonballs collided in the air. Both of them rushed to the Spaniards and killed many soldiers and sank the Spanish ship.
Chapter 31. One against a thousand
Then Munchausen entered the Spanish camp under the guise of a priest and at night threw all the cannons into the sea, and then set the camp on fire. There was a terrible commotion and the Spanish general fled.
Chapter 32. Core Man
Munchausen ended up in London. There he climbed into the mouth of a huge cannon and fell asleep. Meanwhile, the British celebrated his victory over the Spaniards. They fired a cannon and Munchausen flew over the river and fell into the hay. He lost consciousness for three months.
Chapter 33. Among the polar bears
Munchausen went on an expedition to the North Pole. But I decided to hunt bears. He killed one bear, but then a thousand bears attacked him. Munchausen tore the skin off the dead man and climbed into it. They began to mistake him for a bear. Then he killed all the bears one by one.
Chapter 34. Second trip to the moon
Munchausen's ship gets caught in a storm and is blown to the moon. The Baron tells how people live on the moon and that everything there is different from on earth.
Chapter 35. Cheese Island
One day Munchausen found himself on a cheese island that grew out of a sea of ​​milk and fed on milk and cheese. As he sailed away, the trees on the island bowed to him.
Chapter 36. Ships Swallowed by Fish
One day, Munchausen's ship was swallowed by a huge fish. Many ships have accumulated in the fish’s stomach. Munchausen suggested propping up the mouth of the fish with masts, and so the ships floated to freedom. There were 75 ships in the fish.
Chapter 37. Fight with a bear
When Munchausen got ashore, a bear attacked him. But the baron grabbed him by the paws and held him until the bear died of hunger. After all, bears feed by sucking their paws.
After this, Munchausen lived a quiet life.

Drawings and illustrations for the fairy tale "The Adventures of Baron Munchausen"

Current page: 1 (book has 8 pages in total) [available reading passage: 2 pages]

Font:

100% +

Rudolf Erich Raspe
The Adventures of Baron Munchausen

First evening

Baron Munchausen tells how he and his horse got stuck in a swamp and pulled himself and the horse out by his own braid; how he used his eye as a gun flint, killed seven partridges at once with a ramrod, whipped a fox from her skin with a whip, and how a boar pierced a tree with its tusks.

- Gentlemen, friends and comrades! - this is how Baron Munchausen always began his stories, rubbing his hands as usual. Then he took an old glass filled with his favorite drink - real Rauenthal wine, thoughtfully looked at the greenish-yellow liquid, put the glass on the table with a sigh, looking around with a searching gaze, and continued, smiling:

– Here again I have to talk about the past!.. Yes, at that time I was still vigorous and young, courageous and full of vibrant strength! Here's an example.

One fine evening I was returning home from a hunt that had lasted for several hours. The sun was already setting, I was tired and began to doze off in the saddle. Of course, I was not paying attention to the road and woke up, or rather woke up from my slumber, only when my Ajax suddenly stopped in front of a rather wide swampy ditch. Looking around, I saw that the road ended here, but appeared again on the other side of the swamp. I remembered that a few weeks ago, as I was told, a bridge here was blown away by a terrible rain. I extremely regretted that I had not yet given the order to build a new one, wanting to first inspect the place myself. Now the opportunity has presented itself...

But how will I get home?.. Return? Should I jump back and look for another road? No way!.. Without thinking twice, I encouraged the horse and gave it spurs... Brave Ajax reared up, and at that same second we soared into the air. But then the thought pierced my mind that Ajax, also extremely tired from the hunt (we hunted and took twenty-five or thirty hares - in the end I gave up counting them), would hardly be able to jump to the other shore. Quickly assessing the situation, I turned the horse in the air, and we descended to the very place from which it had made the jump.

Okay, gentlemen!.. I patted the horse on the neck, then rode back a little so that he had room to run, and again rushed to the ditch... At first glance, the swamp seemed to me no more than twenty paces, but when I was convinced that in reality it was wider another half dozen steps, then he spurred his horse again. Ajax made a new effort and rushed further - but in vain!.. We did not reach the other shore and both, horse and rider, plopped into the soft mud of the swamp. The semi-liquid mass, in which we were hopelessly stuck, covered the horse’s croup, and only half of my body and Ajax’s head remained above the water...

Yes, my friends, help was needed immediately!..

I squeezed the noble animal tightly with my legs, grabbed the free right hand by his own braid and - safely pulled himself and his horse out of the quagmire onto the shore. Then we continued on our way home at an easy trot. Now you will no longer doubt my then strength and strength!

- And the dogs and your prey, Baron? - the listeners reminded him.

“Before we turned to the shortest route, I sent them home along an ordinary road. And when they returned an hour after me, the groom brought twenty-nine hares - therefore, I was not mistaken in the count, even if he hid one long-eared one for himself.

In general, gentlemen, just as the abilities and genius of the commandant of a besieged fortress are revealed in all their brilliance when the enemy has already captured the advanced fortifications and approached the main rampart, so a real hunter can show intelligence when he finds himself hunting without ordinary shells - for example, when he only had gunpowder left, but he had already used up his entire supply of bullets and shot, as often happened to me after a successful hunt...

What I’m going to tell you now won’t be entirely helpful, but it will show you how important it is not to get confused under any circumstances.

One morning I saw through my bedroom window that a flock of wild ducks.

You will understand that out of joy I barely had time to dress somehow, hastily grabbed my gun and bandoleer and ran headlong down the stairs; At the same time, I accidentally hit my forehead so hard on the column supporting the stairs that sparks flew out of my eyes. However, this did not stop me for a second. I rushed forward uncontrollably and, under the cover of bushes and reeds, I crept to the very shore of the pond. And only here I suddenly discovered that I had lost the flint. What to do? Here I am standing two steps from the target and could shoot for sure... Only there was no flint in the castle.

I immediately decided to use my recent experience with my own eye.

I pressed the gun to my cheek and punched myself in the eye as hard as I could. As I expected and hoped, this is what happened: from such a blow, sparks fell again and ignited the gunpowder. A shot rang out, killing five pairs of ducks, four geese and a pair of water hens.

Yes Yes! Presence of spirit is what is needed for valiant deeds; in war, as in the sea and in hunting, it is the key to unexpected success...

Another time, I went out to try a new gun and had already used up the small supply of shot I had taken with me, when a dog, searching the field, raised a brood of partridges... I saw how they sank to the ground not far away, and I immediately had a burning desire to bring home a few for dinner these birds. But my bandoleer was empty... What should I do?.. Then, gentlemen, a brilliant idea occurred to me. I hastily loaded the gun with gunpowder and inserted a ramrod on top of the wad, sharpening one end of it like a pencil.

- Well, look, Finesse, look!

Several minutes passed in anticipation. The dog made a mistake... The partridges ran ahead of her in potato tops until the very end of the field. The dog stopped here.

I quickly came closer, holding my gun at the ready... Suddenly I heard: “Frrrr!..” - and the whole flock took to the air... I immediately took aim and took aim. "Pow!" – my ramrod pierced seven of them and collapsed not far away along with them. I picked it up and brought home all seven partridges, as if impaled on a spit...

As you can see, you just need to think about it in time...

However, gentlemen, friends and comrades, the ramrod cannot always be used. You need to use what is at hand. So, one day in Livonia I was walking through the forest with a gun over my shoulder, holding in my hand a large nail that I wanted to drive into a hunting hut, when suddenly I came across a magnificent black-brown fox. It would be a terrible shame to ruin her precious fur with a bullet. Lisa Patrikeevna stood motionless by a huge oak tree, turning her head to the side and sniffing the air. And then it dawned on me. I hid behind a tree, took the bullet out of the barrel and loaded the gun with a nail instead. Then I took aim, took careful aim, the shot rang out, and the fox, as I had hoped, remained unharmed, although she could not move because I had firmly nailed her tail to the tree.

Then I calmly approached her, grabbed the whip and began to whip her so deftly that she jumped out of her luxurious skin and ran away without outer clothing. Dying with laughter, I didn’t even think of sending a bullet after her. Has she grown a new skin? Did she freeze in the winter cold or was she torn to pieces by her own relatives?..

You're laughing! But think about how lucky it was that at that very moment I had a nail in my hand!..

A few days later, I was returning home from hunting without any shells, having shot all the gunpowder, when suddenly a furious boar rushed at me... Everyone knows how such a meeting can turn out! Therefore, no one will judge me for taking refuge in the first tree I came across. It was a rather thin birch tree that could barely support my weight. The boar rushed up the tree, but was a moment too late, because as soon as I had time to pick up my legs, he struck the trunk with all his force with his fangs, and with such fury that the tips of the fangs pierced right through the birch and stuck out from it on the other side a whole inch. Without thinking twice, I jumped to the ground, found a fist-sized cobblestone and riveted the ends of the fangs. I calmly went home and the next morning returned to the tree with the people, taking with me a cart and a loaded gun. I, of course, did not ask how the poor prisoner spent the night, and drove a bullet into his bloodthirsty eye.

What kind of specimen it was, you can judge by the fact that - as the manager told me - the beast weighed more than fifteen pounds. Too much for a boar!..

You, gentlemen, may be surprised that I managed to bend and rivet the fangs as if they were iron nails; I’ll now explain how I could do this: I kept hitting the ends of the fangs that pierced the wood with cobblestones until the fragile bone substance of the teeth became completely hardened and soft, so that they could easily be bent and riveted in the real sense of the word.

Well, gentlemen, that's enough for today. Next evening I promise you some especially wonderful hunting stories.

Second evening

Munchausen shoots a deer with cherry pits. Air travel on thirteen strung ducks. Munchausen misses a wild pig and takes home a blind wild pig, blows up a bear with two rifle flints and meets in Warsaw with General Skrbudansky, famous for his silver plate in the skull. The story of an eight-legged hare.

“You, gentlemen, have, of course, heard about Saint Hubert, the patron saint of hunters, and also about the magnificent deer with the holy cross between the horns, which he once met in the forest. On the third of November, on the day of St. Hubert, I annually made a sacrifice to this saint in a cheerful company and probably saw this deer a thousand times both in paintings in churches and on the stars of the Knights of the Order of St. Hubert, so now, in honor and conscience of a good hunter , I myself don’t know whether such deer with crosses existed only in ancient times or whether they are still seen today.

But listen to what happened to me with another wonderful deer.

I once used up all my bullets, when suddenly I came across a magnificent deer, looking at me so calmly, as if it knew that my bandoleer was empty...

“Well, wait, you’ll get yours!” - I thought, hastily loaded the gun with gunpowder, and sprinkled a few cherry pits on top: I just ate a handful of cherries... The deer looked at me with the most sarcastic grin, and - “Boom!” – I hit him with a full charge in the forehead, between the horns... He shook his head a couple of times, bowed, slowly turned around and, without losing his dignity, retreated into the depths of the forest. It's a pity that I didn't have buckshot on hand!

At home they laughed at me a lot, and when we were eating cherries, one of the mockers would even offer to collect pits for me for the next deer hunt.

Over time, this joke began to get boring. But a year or two later, while we were hunting in the same area, an unusually large deer with a cherry tree between its antlers, about ten feet high, walked right towards me. Of course, I immediately remembered my shot with cherry pits. This wonderful animal was obviously destined to become my prey. So I immediately sent a bullet into the middle of his shoulder blade, and when the deer fell, I immediately got roast and compote, because the tree was full of beautiful ripe cherries.

Yes, everything can happen!.. What can you say, for example, about the next remarkable incident?

Lard is known to catch mice. I once caught thirteen ducks for lard, and this is how it happened.

One morning, as I was about to go out to wander with my gun, I noticed that the cord on which my powder flask hung had become too thin in some places and was almost frayed; hanging it over my shoulder, I also thought: “I wonder how long this rope will last?” Towards evening I walked past a small lake on which about a dozen ducks swam quite far apart from each other, so that I could in no way kill more than one bird with one shot, and yet I would like to take them all, because I invited myself the next day guests... But you were there that evening, forester!.. I grabbed the powder flask... and it’s true, it disappeared!.. When I made my way through the hedge of young pines, the cord apparently got caught by a branch and broke off, but I didn’t notice anything.

Overall, it was a bad day. Early in the morning, an old witch, red-haired Katerina, crossed my path, and for the whole day I did not have to fire a single shot...

And now I only had one charge left in the gun, and no more - not a speck of gunpowder!.. But what am I going to do with one duck?..

After these sad reflections, I remembered that I had a piece of lard in my pocket - the remnant of a snack I had taken from home. I've had enough of it long rope, which served as a leash for the dog, and tied a piece of bacon to it. Having thrown the bait, I hid in the coastal reeds. Soon I was pleased to notice how the nearest duck swam up to her and swallowed the lard tied to the rope, but not even a minute had passed before the slippery piece of lard came out completely undigested, and without thinking twice it was swallowed by the second duck. And since the same story was repeated with each of them, soon all thirteen ducks found themselves strung on a rope.

Very happy with this luck, I tied the rope with the birds around my belt and went home. I was walking and rejoicing at such rare luck, when suddenly I felt myself lifting off the ground. Imagine: the ducks, having recovered from the first fright, flapped their wings and lifted me into the air. At first this somewhat stunned me, but soon I regained control of myself and began rowing the skirts of my caftan straight towards my house. And when we flew over the chimney, I, quickly assessing the situation and twisting the heads of the ducks, one after another, began to slowly descend until, finally, I descended, safe and sound, not quite on the usual path through the chimney into the kitchen fireplace - to to the great astonishment of the cook who was about to light a fire to prepare supper.

My faithful companion on that hunt, the legislator Picas, watched, shaking his head, as his master entered the house in such a strange way, and chose to reveal his presence at the door of the house by barking and scratching... Yes, yes, dear gentlemen, mice are caught in lard and - ducks! Of course, all these things require a lot of luck! But luck and fortune sometimes make even a mistake happy!

So, for example, one day I saw a wild pig and a pig in a dense forest, trotting after each other. I immediately began to aim first at the mother and then at the cub. Finally I shot, but the pig continued to run. The pig stopped dead in his tracks. What is it?.. It turned out that the old pig was blind. She held the tip of her piglet's tail with her teeth, and my bullet just broke this thin tail - that's why the piglet rushed off, and his blind mother, having lost her guide, stopped... Needless to say, I grabbed a piece of the tail sticking out in my teeth pig and brought her to his home. You will hardly have the opportunity to do such a thing!..

It is unlikely that you also managed to use such a trick, thanks to which I got rid of a bear that I once came across in a Polish forest, when the day was approaching twilight and all my gunpowder had run out... The beast walked towards me, its paws outstretched and its mouth open, and While I was hastily figuring out what he wanted to do to me—strangle me in his arms or twist my head—I searched all my pockets in search of gunpowder and bullets. However, I only found a couple of flints there, which I always carry with me, just in case, ever since my flint fell out of my castle one day.

The bear kept getting closer, and, already feeling his hot breath, I threw one of the flints into his open mouth with all my strength. This, of course, did not please Mishka Toptygin, and he turned around with a very dissatisfied grumble. It happened so quickly that I didn’t have time to throw the second flint into his mouth... But he seductively showed me his backside... I immediately took aim, swung and threw the second flint at him. Two or three seconds later, both stones met in the insides of the bear, hit each other with such force that an explosion occurred, and my bear was literally torn to pieces... I took a breath, relieved of some anxiety, and firmly decided - if ever I will have to go back to Poland, where there are as many bears as we have cockchafers in winter, and never again leave the house without a weapon.

During the same trip, I met an old general in Warsaw, whose name you have probably heard often... His name was Skrbudansky, and during the war with the Turks, part of his skull was blown off by a fragment of grapeshot; Since then, part of his head has been covered by a silver plate, which was made on hinges so that it could be opened. We met with this general every day in a wine shop, where a terrible revelry was going on.

And then one day I noticed that while all of our faces turned purple because the Hungarian wine was going to our heads, the old general only ran his hand through his hair from time to time and then immediately became pale and sober again... The rest were not they saw nothing special in this and explained to me that the general sometimes opens a silver plate and releases wine vapors... To see if this was true, I seemed to accidentally stand next to the general with a lit piece of paper, but instead of lighting a pipe from it, I brought it up to him to the alcoholic vapors emanating from his head - and suddenly they flared up with a characteristic bluish flame, and the general, who noticed my trick, continued to sit, smiling, like a holy saint with a radiance above his head illuminating him like a halo!.. I care so much I liked this device so much that I entered into negotiations with one skilled goldsmith, whether it was possible for me to arrange such a device for maintaining sobriety. He agreed, but explained that I first needed to perform a craniotomy or wait until the next war, so that part of my skull would also be blown away... I did not do the first, and I am waiting in vain for the second to this day, and therefore, unfortunately, I have everything there is still no valve, which, however, is not as necessary here as it is in the north, where people usually “warm up” more...

Recently you asked who I valued more – Finesse or Picas.

Both dogs were magnificent, each in its own way - Finesse, perhaps, had better instincts, but Pikas was more resilient. Listen here!

Soon after my marriage, my wife one morning wished to go hunting with me. So I galloped forward to look for some game, and soon Pikas was already standing in front of a flock of several hundred partridges. I waited a long time for my wife, who should have already caught up with me along with my steward and stepladder. Finally, I began to worry and turned back, but approximately halfway there I heard plaintive crying and groans, which, as it seemed to me, were heard very close, although no one was visible around. I, of course, got off my horse, put my ear to the ground and then I heard groans coming from underground, and I could even clearly distinguish the voices of my wife, the steward and the stirrup. But how could they get there? Apparently, they fell into the hole of an abandoned coal mine, and this latter, as I knew, was about ninety fathoms deep.

I rode at full speed to the neighboring village to bring the miners, and after hard work we pulled the unfortunate people out into the light of day. First we extracted the stirrup, then his horse, then the steward and his mare, and finally my wife and her Turkish pacer. The most amazing thing in this whole story was that all six remained completely unharmed after falling from a height of five to six hundred feet, not counting a few minor bruises. Yes, my friends, it’s wonderful when your guardian angel is always nearby!

It goes without saying that there was nothing to think about hunting that day, and it’s good that we immediately returned home, since a courier was already waiting for me with an order to immediately leave on a business trip.

I will tell you about this highly interesting assignment that led me to the Wesel fortress another time. I’ll just mention what occurred to me along the way: where is Picas, my pointing dog?.. On the fourteenth day I returned home, and my first question was about the dog... But no one saw her, and everyone thought that Picas accompanied me during a trip…

The thought immediately flashed through my mind: “Is the poor fellow still holding a stand over the partridges?!”

Hope and anxiety immediately pulled me there, right in my traveling suit - and imagine! – to my unspeakable joy, faithful Picas stood in the same place where I left him fourteen days ago.

- Go ahead, my dog! - I exclaimed; he immediately rushed forward, the partridges flew into the air, and I killed twenty-five of them in one shot!.. I don’t think any of you have ever experienced something like this!..

Conscientious Picas was so hungry and emaciated that he could barely crawl up to me and lick my hand. I took him into my saddle and thus brought him home, where he soon recovered thanks to good care, and a few weeks later helped me solve a riddle that otherwise would have remained forever insoluble...

You see, I spent two whole days chasing one hare. Pikas overtook him many times, but I could not get within shooting range of him.

I have never believed in witchcraft - I have seen too extraordinary things, but in this case my rationality led me to a dead end.

Finally the hare was so close to me that I was able to hit him with a bullet. Of course, I barely found time to load the gun again and immediately jumped off my horse. And what do you think I saw?!

This hare, like all the others, had four legs under its body and, in addition, four more on its back!

Here the mystery of his unusually revealed fast run: when the hare knocked off both lower pairs of paws, he turned over, like good swimmer, able to swim on his chest and on his back, and with renewed vigor rushed further on the other spare four legs. I confess on honor: I doubt that you have ever seen such a phenomenal hare. I myself have never come across a single specimen of this kind...

Rudolf Erich Raspe

The Adventures of Baron Munchausen

HORSE ON THE ROOF

I went to Russia on horseback. It was winter. It was snowing.

The horse got tired and began to stumble. I really wanted to sleep. I almost fell out of the saddle from fatigue. But I looked in vain for an overnight stay: I didn’t come across a single village on the way. What was to be done?

We had to spend the night in an open field.

There are no bushes or trees around. Only a small column stuck out from under the snow.

I somehow tied my cold horse to this post, and I lay down right there in the snow and fell asleep.

I slept for a long time, and when I woke up, I saw that I was lying not in a field, but in a village, or rather, in a small town, surrounded by houses on all sides.

What's happened? Where am I? How could these houses grow here overnight?

And where did my horse go?

For a long time I did not understand what happened. Suddenly I hear a familiar neigh. This is my horse neighing.

But where is he?

Neighing comes from somewhere above.

I raise my head and what?

My horse is hanging on the roof of the bell tower! He is tied to the cross itself!

In one minute I realized what was happening.

Last night this entire town, with all the people and houses, was covered in deep snow, and only the top of the cross stuck out.

I didn’t know that it was a cross, it seemed to me that it was a small post, and I tied my tired horse to it! And at night, while I was sleeping, a strong thaw began, the snow melted, and I sank to the ground unnoticed.

But my poor horse remained there, above, on the roof. Tied to the cross of the bell tower, he could not descend to the ground.

What to do?

Without hesitation, I grab the gun, aim straight and hit the bridle, because I have always been an excellent shot.

Bridle in half.

The horse quickly descends towards me.

I jump on it and, like the wind, I gallop forward.

WOLF HARNESSED TO A SLED

But in winter it is inconvenient to ride a horse; it is much better to travel in a sleigh. I bought myself a very good sled and quickly rushed through the soft snow.

In the evening I entered the forest. I was already starting to doze off when I suddenly heard the alarming neighing of a horse. I looked around and in the light of the moon I saw a terrible wolf, which, with its toothy mouth open, was running after my sleigh.

There was no hope of salvation.

I lay down on the bottom of the sleigh and closed my eyes in fear.

My horse ran like crazy. The clicking of wolf teeth was heard right in my ear.

But, fortunately, the wolf did not pay any attention to me.

He jumped over the sleigh right over my head and pounced on my poor horse.

In one minute, the hindquarters of my horse disappeared into his voracious mouth.

The front part continued to jump forward in horror and pain.

The wolf ate my horse deeper and deeper.

When I came to my senses, I grabbed the whip and, without wasting a minute, began to whip the insatiable beast.

He howled and lunged forward.

The front part of the horse, not yet eaten by the wolf, fell out of the harness into the snow, and the wolf ended up in its place in the shafts and in the horse harness!

He could not escape from this harness: he was harnessed like a horse.

I continued to whip him as hard as I could.

He rushed forward and forward, dragging my sleigh behind him.

We rushed so fast that within two or three hours we galloped into St. Petersburg.

Amazed St. Petersburg residents ran out in crowds to look at the hero, who, instead of a horse, harnessed a ferocious wolf to his sleigh. I lived well in St. Petersburg.

SPARKS FROM THE EYES

I often went hunting and now I remember with pleasure that fun time when so many wonderful stories happened to me almost every day.

One story was very funny.

The fact is that from my bedroom window I could see a vast pond where there was a lot of all kinds of game.

One morning, going to the window, I noticed wild ducks on the pond.

I instantly grabbed the gun and ran headlong out of the house.

But in a hurry, running down the stairs, I hit my head on the door, so hard that sparks fell from my eyes.

It didn't stop me.

Run home for flint?

But ducks can fly away.

I sadly lowered the gun, cursing my fate, and suddenly a brilliant idea occurred to me.

As hard as I could, I punched myself in the right eye. Of course, sparks began to fall from the eye, and at the same moment the gunpowder ignited.

Yes! The gunpowder ignited, the gun fired, and I killed ten excellent ducks with one shot.

I advise you, whenever you decide to make a fire, to extract the same sparks from your right eye.

Readers will learn about incredible stories that happened to an avid traveler and a notorious liar from the legendary book “The Adventures of Baron Munchausen” by R. E. Raspe. The work teaches, first of all, resourcefulness and courage, the ability to show ingenuity and not give up in difficult situations. Every evening the gray-haired old man told his friends a story from his distant past. These stories were so vivid and realistic that the listeners unwittingly believed the storyteller.

The Adventures of Baron Munchausen

“Gentlemen, friends, comrades: - this is how Baron Munchausen always began his stories, rubbing his hands as usual; then he took an old glass filled with his favorite drink - real, but not very old Rauenthal wine, thoughtfully looked closely at the greenish-yellow liquid, put the glass on the table with a sigh, looking at everyone with a searching gaze, and continued, smiling: - So, I have to talk about the past again!.. Yes, at that time I was still vigorous and young, courageous and full of vibrant strength!
Once I had a trip to Russia coming up, and I left home in the middle of winter, because I heard from everyone who had ever traveled in the north of Germany, Poland, Livonia and Courland that the roads in these countries were very bad and comparatively They are in a tolerable condition only in winter due to snow and frost.
I rode out on horseback, as I find this mode of transportation the most convenient, provided, of course, the horse and rider are good enough. In addition, traveling on horseback saves you from annoying clashes with German postmasters and from the risk of dealing with a coachman who, always thirsty, strives to stop at every roadside tavern.
I was dressed very lightly, and the further I moved to the northeast, the more the cold made itself felt.
Driving through Poland on a road running through a deserted place where cold winds roamed freely in the open air, I met an unfortunate old man. Barely covered with poor clothes, the poor old man, half dead from the cold, was sitting near the road.
I felt sorry for the poor fellow to the depths of my soul, and even though I was cold myself, I threw my traveling cloak over him. After this meeting I drove non-stop until night fell,
An endless snow plain stretched out in front of me. There was profound silence, and not the slightest sign of habitation was visible anywhere. I didn't know where to go.
Terribly tired from the long ride, I decided to stop, got off the horse and tied it to a pointed stake sticking out from under the snow. Just in case, I put the pistols next to me, lay down on the snow not far from the horse and immediately fell into a deep sleep. When I woke up, it was day. My horse was nowhere to be seen.
Suddenly, somewhere high in the air, a neighing sound was heard. I looked up: my horse, tied by the reins, was hanging on the top of the bell tower.
It immediately became clear to me what had happened: I stopped in a village completely covered with snow. At night there was a sudden thaw and the snow melted. Unnoticed during sleep, I sank lower and lower until I found myself on the ground. And what I took for a stake yesterday and what I tied the horse to was the spire of the bell tower.
Without thinking twice, I fired the pistol. The bullet broke the belt, and after a minute the horse stood next to me. I saddled her and rode on.
Everything went well until the Russian border. Unfortunately, in Russia it is not customary to ride a horse in winter. Having never violated the customs of the country, this time I did not change my rule. He bought a small sleigh, harnessed a horse and cheerfully and cheerfully set off for St. Petersburg.
I was driving through a dense forest. Suddenly I looked around and saw: a huge seasoned wolf was running after me: In a few jumps he caught up with me. I understood well that I could not escape from his sharp teeth, so I abandoned my warriors and lay down in the sleigh.
The wolf jumped over me and attacked the horse.
Having safely avoided certain death, I quietly raised my head and saw with horror that the hungry beast had swallowed the entire rear part of the animal. I hit him with the whip as hard as I could. The wolf, out of fear and pain, rushed forward and instead of the horse found himself in its harness and shafts.

To the great surprise of those I met, the wolf rushed me madly and soon brought me safely to St. Petersburg. I won't bore you with a description government structure, arts, sciences and all kinds of attractions of the magnificent capital Russian Empire. I’d rather tell you about horses, dogs, my best friends, about foxes, wolves, bears and other animals that Russia is rich in, like no other country in the world. I would also like to tell you about Russian fun; about hunting and various exploits that adorn an honest nobleman more than the most fashionable and rich attire and refined manners.
I did not immediately manage to join the Russian army. While waiting for service, I had a lot of free time, which I spent as it should be; to a noble nobleman, cheerfully and carefree. It cost a lot of money, but still I remember with pleasure this was the best time in my life.
The harsh climate and customs of the country have given rise to a great habit of wine in Russia. I have met quite a few people who have brought their art of drinking to the point of virtuosity. But everyone was surpassed in this respect by one general with a gray beard and a copper-red face, who very often dined with us. This brave man lost the upper part of his skull during the battle with the Turks, and even at the table he always sat in a cap, for which he sincerely apologized to the guests. This venerable warrior drank several bottles of vodka and more than one bottle of rum every day at lunch. However, he was never seen drunk. This may seem implausible. I myself was perplexed for a long time and only accidentally realized what was the matter.
The general occasionally lifted his cap to clear his head. At first I didn't pay attention to it. But then one day I noticed that along with the cap, a silver plate had also risen, which replaced his missing cranial bone. Wine vapors came out like a cloud into this hole. It was then that I understood everything and immediately told my friends about my discovery. We decided to check my observations.
I approached the general unnoticed with a smoking pipe in my hands. After waiting for the moment when the general raised his cap, I quickly brought a piece of paper to his head, which I lit from the pipe. And at that same moment everyone saw a wonderful phenomenon:
The general reacted kindly to my trick and subsequently allowed us to repeat these innocent experiments more than once.
I won’t talk about other pranks with which we had fun, but I’ll go straight to the stories about my hunting adventures. - Page 1 - Passionately loving hunting, I devoted myself to it with all my soul. For me, nothing in the world was better than hunting in the dense forests, which in Russia stretch for hundreds of miles.
With the greatest pleasure I remember the time I spent so fun and interesting. I experienced a lot of dangers and risky adventures, but everything ended very successfully.
This is what happened to me. Once I had to hunt ducks on a large lake. But the ducks swam far from each other. I looked and thought: there is no way to put more than one shot, and as luck would have it, I only had one cartridge left. What to do here?
Just this evening I was expecting a large group of friends to join me, and I wanted to treat them to game. Fortunately, I remembered that there was a piece of lard left in my hunting bag from breakfast. I tied it to a rope and, hiding behind the reeds, threw it into the water. Almost at the same moment, to my greatest joy, I saw that one of the ducks quickly swam up, greedily grabbed the bait and swallowed it. The lard, quickly passing through the duck, jumped out behind it and found itself in the water again. He was swallowed by another, a third duck, and so on, until the very last.
When the ducks were strung on the rope like beads, I carefully pulled them to the shore, wrapped the rope with the ducks around me six times and went home.
The load was quite large. Having moved far from the lake, I felt that I would not be able to bring all the spoils home and began to repent of my greed.
But then an unexpected circumstance happened that plunged me into the greatest amazement. All the ducks were alive. As soon as they got used to their new position, they all immediately flapped their wings and lifted me high into the sky. Anyone in my place would have been at a loss, but I was found immediately. Having spread the flaps of my camisole in the wind, I began to control the flight of the ducks.
Seeing the house, I began to think about how it would be safer to get down to the ground. Having twisted the heads of several ducks, I thus slowly descended and fell straight into the chimney of my own kitchen. Fortunately, the fireplace was not lit yet. My sudden appearance greatly frightened the cook and all the household members, but when they saw that I was safe and sound and had brought a lot of booty, their fear gave way to joy.
Another case happened to me with partridges. One day I went into the field to test a new gun. One by one I shot all the charges and turned home. Suddenly, a flock of fat partridges took off from right under our feet.
I loaded the gun - with what do you think? - an ordinary cleaning rod used to clean a gun. Noticing the place where the partridges had landed, I scared them away. When the partridges rose, I fired and, to my great pleasure, saw that the ramrod fell with seven partridges strung on it.
But the miracle did not end there. When I picked up the partridges from the ground, they were all fried from the hot ramrod. The feathers fell off them, and they were so deliciously browned that all that remained was to serve them on the table.
I have already talked about what resourcefulness and ingenuity mean to a hunter.
One day, waking up early in the morning and looking out the window, I noticed a great many wild ducks on the pond in front of the house. Without thinking twice, I grabbed the gun and ran as fast as I could, but in my haste I hit my head on the door, so hard that sparks flew from my eyes. I rubbed my forehead and ran on. When I took aim, I discovered that I was missing the flint, which apparently fell out of the gun from a strong blow.
Every minute was precious. I didn't know what to do. Suddenly it came to me. A brilliant idea pops into my head. I hit myself on the forehead with all my might. From this blow a sheaf of sparks fell from the eyes; the gunpowder ignited and a shot rang out. I killed ten pairs of excellent ducks with one shot.
Yes, it means a lot not to get lost at the decisive moment. Resourcefulness is a great thing! As you know, it is the only thing that creates successful warriors, sailors and hunters.
One day I came across a magnificent black and brown fox while hunting. I could kill her with a gun, but then I would inevitably ruin her wonderful fur. Luckily for me, the fox was standing close to the tree. In one minute I loaded the gun with a nail, fired and hit it so well that I pinned the fox’s tail to the tree.
Then I calmly approached her and began to beat her with a whip. The fox jumped out of its skin in pain and ran away, and I got the skin intact, not damaged by the bullet.
Very often a hunter is obliged to chance. One day, in the thicket of the forest, I came across a wild pig with a piglet, who was running ahead, and the mother did not lag behind him a single step. I shot unsuccessfully - the bullet flew between the pig and the pig. The pig ran away, but the pig remained rooted to the spot.
As I got closer, I understood everything. The pig was blind; A piece of a pig's tail stuck out of her mouth, which served as her guide. My bullet broke the tail of a runaway pig; the pig was left without a guide, standing helplessly in place, not knowing where to move. Taking the tip of the pig's tail, which the pig held tightly in her teeth, I led her home. The old animal walked without any resistance...
No matter how scary wild pigs are, dealing with a wild boar is immeasurably more dangerous.
Suddenly, in the forest, I came across a wild boar. Unfortunately, I didn't have any weapons with me. I rushed behind a tree, but at the same moment an angry animal jumped at me, but missed and sank its fangs into the tree. The fangs went so deep that the boar could not pull them out. “Well, now, my dear, you won’t leave me!” - I told him. He grabbed a stone lying on the ground and began to hit with all his might the fangs, which went even deeper into the tree. Now the boar was in my captivity and could not escape. I went to the neighboring village for ropes and a cart and brought the boar home alive. - Page 2 - I was walking through the forest one day after a successful hunt. I don't have a single charge left. Suddenly, out of the forest, a deer of amazing beauty came out to me, the likes of which I had never seen before. The deer looked at me so calmly and trustingly, as if he knew that I didn’t have a single charge. In an instant I loaded the gun, and instead of shot I poured in a handful of cherry pits. My charge hit the deer in the forehead, between the antlers. Stunned by the shot, the deer fell, but at the same moment jumped up and ran away.
Two years later I had to hunt in the same area. I looked: a beautiful deer came out of the forest, and between its antlers there was a cherry tree, and on it were large red cherries, the likes of which I had never seen.
In critical moments, which a hunter experiences more than once in his life, he has to use everything that comes to hand, just not to miss the prey. I have been in this position more than once.
Once in Poland I was hunting a bird. The hunt was successful, and I shot all the charges. It was getting dark. I began to get ready to go home, when suddenly I came across a huge bear, which was walking straight towards me, its terrible mouth wide open. In vain I searched my pockets for some forgotten charge; there was nothing there except two spare flints. I threw one flint, as much as I could, into the open mouth of the beast and hit him in the very throat. The bear roared, got down on all fours and turned his back to me. At the same moment I inserted another flint from the opposite end of the animal. Something extraordinary happened: sparks fell from the impact of the flints, a deafening crash was heard, and the bear was torn into pieces.
I can say that this time I came out of trouble safely, but I would not want to go through all this a second time. I wouldn’t wish anyone to encounter a bear without a weapon.
Fate pursued me mercilessly. As soon as I didn’t have a weapon with me, I would certainly meet with some dangerous animal, as if he instinctively guessed that I was unarmed.
So, suddenly in the forest a huge hungry wolf rushed at me. However, I was not taken aback and shoved my clenched fist into his mouth so far that he could not close it. For safety's sake, I stuck my hand almost all the way to my shoulder.
Involuntarily I asked myself the question, what should I do next? I was going through an unpleasant situation. Judge for yourself what it’s like to stand against a wolf and wait every minute for him to tear you to pieces!
We stood opposite each other. The wolf’s eyes burned with anger, it seemed that he was just waiting for me to take my hand out, but to do this meant to die completely. Then I stuck my hand even further, grabbed his insides and turned the wolf inside out like a glove. The wolf died immediately.
But I did not dare to resort to this technique when I once encountered a mad dog in a narrow alley in St. Petersburg.
“I have to run,” I thought, and to make my running easier, I threw off my fur coat and set off home as fast as I could.
The frock coat was expensive, lined with valuable fur - the spoils of my hunt. I was sorry to lose him, and I sent a servant for him and ordered him to hang his coat in the wardrobe.
The next day my Ivan scared me terribly. He ran into the room, shouting furiously:
- Monsieur Baron, your coat has gone mad!
Ivan turned out to be right. The minute I entered the dressing room, this picture appeared to me. The enraged frock coat, which had been bitten by a mad dog, tore and tore my dress dress. With difficulty, Ivan and I put everything in order. I always got out of trouble easily thanks to fortunate circumstances, my resourcefulness, and also due to the fact that I never lost my presence of mind. All this is extremely necessary for anyone who wants to be a good hunter, warrior or sailor. However, the hunter, admiral or commander who will rely only on his lucky star, on his personal courage and resourcefulness, and does not take care to acquire the necessary knowledge, material resources and good weapons necessary for the success of the business he has begun, will act extremely recklessly.
I did not deserve this reproach of negligence. I had the best horses, dogs and all kinds of weapons, and my skill in shooting and training animals aroused the general astonishment of experts. I can say, without boasting, that the memory of me as a hunter will live for a long time in the forests, fields and meadows. I won't make it difficult for you to pay attention detailed description my stables, kennels and weapons, as empty-headed braggarts love to do. I’ll just tell you in passing about two dogs that served me so faithfully and were so good at hunting that the memory of them still lives in my memory.
One of them was a cop. With her intelligence, tirelessness and instinct, she aroused the general envy of my many fellow hunters.
I hunted with her day and night. When it got dark, I hung a lantern on her tail and hunted at night as well as during the day.
One day (this happened shortly after my marriage) my wife decided to go hunting with me. I rode ahead to look for game, and soon my faithful dog froze in front of a flock of several hundred partridges. I did not shoot, waiting for the baroness, who was supposed to drive up with my lieutenant and servant. However, time passed, and they were still not there.
Finally I got worried and turned my horse back. Halfway there, I heard some quiet, pitiful moans that were heard not far from me. I looked in all directions, but all around at a great distance, no matter how closely I looked, no one was visible.
Jumping off my horse, I put my ear to the ground and realized that the groans were coming from underground. I could clearly distinguish the voices of my wife and servant. Looking around, I noticed a coal mine opening not far from me. There was no doubt that they had failed there.
I jumped on my horse and rushed to the nearest village to fetch the miners, who with great difficulty pulled the unfortunate people out of the deep mine. First of all they pulled out the servant and his horse, then the lieutenant, and finally my wife and her Turkish horse. It is remarkable that neither people nor horses were injured in the least, despite the considerable height from which they fell, and escaped with only minor bruises; but the fear they experienced was so great that it defies any description. There was nothing to think about further hunting, as you understand. While rescuing the victims, I naturally forgot about the dog. - Page 3 - The next day I had to leave home on business. I returned only two weeks later and soon noticed the absence of my Diana.
Nobody cared about her; everyone thought she ran after me. We looked for her everywhere, but, to my great grief, we could not find her anywhere.
Suddenly the thought flashed through my mind whether the dog was left in the field to guard the partridges.
Excited now by fear, now by hope, I galloped to where I was hunting in last time and, to unspeakable pleasure, he found Diana standing there.
“Peel!” - I shouted to her. Diana jumped, the partridges flew up, and I put down twenty-five of them in one shot. The poor animal was so weak from hunger and fatigue that it could barely crawl to me. She couldn't get home. Involuntarily I had to take her on my saddle. Needless to say, with what pleasure and joy I endured this small inconvenience.
Thanks to good care, Diana soon recovered and a few weeks later helped me solve an amazing mystery, which without her help would have remained forever unresolved.
For two days Diana continuously chased the same hare. Several times she chased the hare at me, but I couldn’t shoot because the hare wouldn’t let me get close to her.
“What kind of obsession?” - I thought. Whatever adventures I had to experience, and such an incident had never happened before, I was at a loss.
Finally I managed to shoot this hare. How can I describe the surprise that gripped me when I came closer to him?
You can't even imagine what I saw! In addition to the usual paws, he had four more on his back. When the two lower pairs of legs got tired, he turned over as he walked and ran again. In a word, he did it like a skilled swimmer who, tired of swimming on his stomach, turned onto his back. Now it’s clear why Diana couldn’t catch up with this strange beast.
I have never seen such an eight-legged hare, and I would never have seen this one if I didn’t have such a wonderful dog. For her rare qualities, I was going to call her “the only one” if I did not have another dog - a greyhound, who challenged Diana for the honor of this nickname.
This dog was remarkable not so much for its beauty as for its amazing agility and in this regard it had no rivals. Anyone who saw her hunting was delighted with her. My friends understood why I loved her so much and why I hunt with her so often.
Once, when she was young, we were hunting hares. I could barely keep up with her on the horse. Suddenly I heard from afar, as if a whole pack of dogs were chasing, but they were barking in such weak and gentle voices that I was stumped. As I got closer, I saw a miracle of miracles.
The hare gave birth to hares while running, and the dog gave birth, and both brought an equal number. Instinctively, the newborn bunnies began to run, and the puppies followed them. Thus it turned out that I, having started the hunt with one dog, ended it with six and instead of one hare I drove six. My greyhound has run so much in her life that she has worn down all her paws, almost down to her belly. When she got old, she could no longer chase hares and served me only in badger hunting as a dachshund.
With no less pleasure I remember a horse, excellent in all respects, which had no price. This horse came to me through a happy accident and gave me the opportunity to show the art of my horsemanship, in which I had no rivals.
It was in Lithuania with Count Przhbovsky on his wonderful estate. The whole ladies' company and I sat at the tea table, and the men went out onto the porch to admire the thoroughbred horse, recently brought to the count's estate. Suddenly through the open window we heard some screams. I jumped out onto the porch and saw a terrible commotion in the yard. The horse rushed madly, kicked and did not let anyone near it. Everyone was scared, and no one dared to approach her. The bravest riders did not know what to do; fear and concern were written on all faces. Then I deftly, in one leap, jumped onto the horse’s back. She recoiled to the side, reared up, began to kick with her front and hind legs, but soon, feeling a skillful and strong hand, she resigned herself.
I really wanted to show the ladies my riding, but in order not to disturb them, I made the horse jump into the dining room through the open window. Here I began to ride, now at a walk, now at a trot, now at a gallop, then I made the horse jump onto the tea table and do the whole riding school, which delighted the ladies. The horse was so amazingly agile that he did not break a single cup or glass.
The count also admired my extraordinary skill and, with his characteristic courtesy, presented me with a horse and wished me success in military service, where I was going to enter under the command of Count Minich,
I couldn’t imagine a better gift. - Page 4 - I was looking forward to our army’s march against the Turks, and the count’s gift turned out to be very opportune: I needed just such a horse, calm as a lamb and hot-tempered like Bucephalus. She was always supposed to remind me of the duty of an honest soldier and the great exploits of Alexander the Great.
The main goal of our campaign was to restore the honor of Russian weapons, which suffered somewhat during the reign of Peter the Great during the battle of the Prut.
Our army, after difficult and glorious campaigns, won a brilliant victory over the Turks.
Modesty does not allow subordinates to take credit for great victories, the glory of which is usually attributed only to generals. I do not claim the honor of the victory won by our army over the enemy. We all did our duty. And these words for a patriot, a soldier, just an honest person have much more meaning than gentlemen politicians assume.
I served in the hussars. There was a separate corps under my command. More than once I was sent on reconnaissance missions and they completely trusted my intelligence and courage. Once, after a hot battle with the Turks, we captured an enemy fortress. I was the first to rush into it on my horse and stopped in the square to order the trumpet to be blown. To my amazement, there was not a single hussar near me.
While waiting for them, I turned to the well to water the horse. She greedily fell to the water and, no matter how much she drank, could not get drunk. I looked back and almost fell out of the saddle in surprise. It turned out that the horse was missing the back half of its body. It is clear that the water could not hold on and flowed out onto the ground, bringing neither coolness nor relief to the poor animal.
I couldn't explain to myself how this could happen. At that moment my messenger galloped up. After congratulating me on my victory, he said the following. Chasing on the heels of the fleeing enemy, I jumped into the fortress gates. At that same moment, a heavy iron grate was unexpectedly lowered, which cut off the hind half of my horse. I didn’t notice anything and rode on. The severed half remained for some time not far from the gate, kicking and scattering the Turks with blows of its hooves, and then galloped off to the nearest meadow, where, as the messenger told me, I would probably find it. I immediately turned back and rushed to the meadow, where to my greatest joy and found the back half of the horse walking peacefully.
So, there was no doubt that both halves of my horse were alive, I sent for the veterinarian. Without thinking twice, he sewed both halves together with young laurel shoots. The wound healed very well, but then something amazing happened that could only happen to such an extraordinary horse. The shoots took root into the body and grew. A gazebo formed, in the shade of which I made the rest of the hike. The laurels came in handy, as we won many more brilliant victories.
I will mention one more incident that occurred after a heated battle. I fought the enemy so bravely and for so long that my hand, against my will, tirelessly waved right and left. Despite my best efforts, I couldn't stop her. For fear of injuring myself and others, I was forced to wear my arm in a sling for a week, as if after a dislocation.
If a person dares to mount such a wild horse as mine, then he can be believed even in what would be completely incredible for another.
Once we were besieging a city whose name I have forgotten. The field marshal wanted to know what was happening with the enemy. Getting into the fortress past the vigilant sentries was a very difficult task, and there was no reliable person who could be entrusted with this.
Filled with courage, burning with official zeal, I took up this matter. Without thinking twice, I stood near the muzzle of the largest cannon and waited for it to be fired. At the moment when the cannonball flew out, I jumped on top of it, hoping to fly into the fortress in this way.
On the way, I began to think.
“Hm! - I said to myself. - Suppose you get to the fortress, but how will you get back? Finally, what awaits you in the fortress? There is no doubt that you will be recognized and, like a spy, hanged on the first gallows. The most prudent thing is to go home in good health.”
Having hastily sketched out a plan of the enemy fortifications in a notebook, I jumped onto an oncoming shell flying towards our camp, and returned safely to my own.
My horse was amazingly adept at taking on any hurdle. There were no fences, ditches, or, in a word, any obstacles for it, which made it possible for me to always ride in a straight direction. Once I went on it to hunt hares. Fleeing from my pursuit, the hare ran across the high road at the moment when a carriage with two young ladies belonging to high society was passing. All this happened so quickly and unexpectedly that I did not have time to turn the horse, and it flew at full gallop through the open carriage windows. I barely had time to bow to the ladies and apologize for the disturbance.
Another time, as the horse jumped to cross a swamp, I noticed that the swamp was wider than I had imagined. The minute the horse rose into the air, I turned it back to accelerate again. But the second time the horse miscalculated and fell into the swamp up to its neck. I was facing imminent death. I was saved only thanks to my amazing strength. I squeezed the horse's sides with my feet and began to pull myself by the braid and thus pulled both myself and the horse out of the swamp
Despite all my courage and intelligence, despite the strength, speed and endurance of my horse, I too had failures. I even had the misfortune of being captured by the Turks, who defeated me with the superiority of their strength. - Page 5 - In captivity I suffered the saddest fate: the Turks sold me into slavery.
I was forced to do the most simple work, easy, but boring and completely unfamiliar to me. I was appointed to the position of beekeeper in the Sultan's gardens. My duty was to drive the bees to the field to pasture every day at sunrise, guard them there all day, and drive them back to the hive in the evening.
One evening I noticed that one bee was missing. Looking back, I saw two bears who, hoping to profit from the honey, were about to tear the bee apart. I had nothing in my hands except a silver hatchet. That's what I threw at the bears to scare them.
I actually managed to save the bee in this way, but, unfortunately, another disaster happened. The swing of the arm was so strong that the hatchet, flying over the heads of the bears, flew higher and higher until it fell on the Moon.
How to get it? Where can I find a ladder to climb to the moon? Then I remembered that Turkish beans grow quickly and often reach amazing heights.
Immediately I planted the bean in the ground. Before my eyes, it began to grow and rose higher and higher until it caught on one of the horns of the month. I was incredibly happy, climbed up the stem and safely reached the Moon. It was not easy to find a silver hatchet where everything glittered like silver. Finally I found him on a pile of straw.
I was about to descend to the ground, but alas! While I was looking for the hatchet, the bean dried out under the burning rays of the sun and crumbled.
What to do? I twisted a long rope out of straw and, tying it to the horn of the moon, set off, sliding along the rope with my right hand and holding an ax in my left. Having reached the end of the rope, I cut off the top end and tied it to the bottom. In this way I managed to descend quite a distance, but, unfortunately, my rope, from constant cutting and tying, frayed and broke, and I flew to the ground with such speed that I lost consciousness.
Having fallen from a terrible height, I went twenty meters into the ground. I soon came to my senses, but did not know how to get out of the hole. But what does need not teach? With my nails and fingers I dug steps in the ground and safely emerged into the light of God.
Soon after this incident, peace was concluded with the Turks. Me and other prisoners were brought to St. Petersburg. I didn’t want to serve, I resigned and left Russia.
That year, terrible cold reigned throughout Europe. Even the sun itself caught a cold and to this day cannot recover. No, no, and he’ll get sick. It was these colds that forced me to endure more hardships and inconveniences on the way back than when I was traveling around Russia.
The Turks kept my horse; Involuntarily I had to go home by post office.
In one place the road passed through a narrow corridor, between tall hedges of thorns. I ordered the yamshik to blow his horn to prevent a collision with oncoming people. Yamshik blew with all his might, but no matter how hard he tried, he could not blow out a single sound. This seemed very strange to me and was not in vain for us: we collided with an oncoming carriage. At this point the road was so narrow that there was no way to pass each other. Without thinking twice, I jumped out of the carriage, unharnessed the horses, loaded the carriage with all the luggage onto my back and jumped with it over a fence a fathom high. This was not easy for me: the carriage itself weighed a lot, and there was quite a lot of luggage in it. Having parked the carriage, I jumped over the fence to the side where my horses remained, and again jumped over the fence with them. The coachman harnessed the horses, and we safely reached the inn.
I forgot to mention that one of the horses, a hot four-year-old, began snorting and kicking during my journey through the fence. But I put her hind legs in my coat pocket, and she involuntarily calmed down.
At the inn we began to recall an incident that happened to us on the road. I was sitting on a bench, the coachman took off his horn, hung it on a nail above the stove and began to warm himself by the fire.
But that's what happened then! Suddenly the horn began to play. We were incredibly surprised and could not understand why he was playing. The sounds, frozen from the terrible cold, thawed and were heard loudly and clearly in the room, to the great joy of the yamgpik. The sounds kept rushing and rushing; one piece gave way to another, and the impromptu concert ended with a lovely evening song.
Let me finish my story about my trip to Russia.
There are travelers who experience extraordinary adventures. It is not surprising if their stories raise some doubts. However, if any of the young readers doubt the veracity of my stories, he will deeply offend me. He had better close the book before I move on to my adventures at sea, even more extraordinary, although no less reliable. - Page 6 - Adventure one I have traveled a lot by sea and land. A number of my wanderings around the world began with a sea voyage, which I undertook long before my trip to Russia, where so many amazing episodes just told happened to me.
From a young age, I dreamed of traveling, almost from that tender age when the down on my chin barely began to appear, which could be mistaken for anything but a beard. My father also traveled a lot in his lifetime. On long winter evenings, he loved to tell us about his adventures, which developed in me an innate passion for everything unknown.
Every time I had the opportunity, I asked my father for permission to visit foreign countries. But it was all in vain. Sometimes I seemed to be able to convince him, but my mother and aunt vehemently rebelled against my plans, and I suffered failure after failure.
One day a relative of my mother came to stay with us. He loved me very much; found that I was a nice, cheerful young man and promised to help me fulfill my cherished dream.
His arguments were more convincing than mine. After endless conversations and debates, in which the female half of our family took a particularly ardent part, it was finally decided that I would go with my relative to the island of Ceylon, where his uncle was governor.
Having received emergency instructions from the Dutch government, we soon left Amsterdam.
The move was successful. Only once on the way were we caught by a strong storm. Its consequences were so remarkable that I will say a few words about it.
The storm began when we approached one of the islands and dropped anchor to take firewood and fresh water, in a short time the elements broke out, a mad hurricane began to uproot huge thick trees and carry them through the air,
These trees, weighing several hundred pounds, rose above the ground to a height of several miles and from there seemed no more than bird feathers flying through the air. But when the storm subsided, all the trees sank down to the ground, in their original place, and began to grow again. Everything returned to its usual form, as if the hurricane had never happened.
Something strange happened to only one of the forest giants. At the moment when the storm tore it out, a husband and wife were sitting on it and picking cucumbers, which in this part of the world grow not in beds, but on trees.
The unwitting travelers successfully completed their air flight, but with their weight they tilted the tree, and it fell not where it had grown before, but to the side. Moreover, it fell to the ground at the very moment when the local ruler was walking through the garden, and, fortunately, crushed him.
“Why fortunately?” - you probably ask.
Yes, I should say fortunately. The head of the people was a terrible despot, and all his subjects, not excluding his favorites, were the most unfortunate people in the world. Food supplies were rotting in the palace storerooms, and meanwhile the people were dying of hunger. The state was reliably protected from enemies, however, by order of the sovereign, all young people were obliged to perform military service. Strictness and cruel punishments made them excellent soldiers. On occasion, these soldiers were sold to the neighboring king who paid the most. This trade brought the ruler millions of shells, which he added to the hundreds of thousands inherited from his father.
In gratitude for the great service, rendered albeit by accident, the people placed the happy couple on the throne. Despite the fact that, having approached too close to the sun during the flight, these good people lost their sight and became somewhat stupid, they still ruled the state with dignity. Each of the servants, as I later learned while picking cucumbers, always said the prayer: “God save our lord.”
Having repaired the ship, which was badly damaged by the storm, and bowed to the lord and his wife, we left the harbor. - Page 7 - A favorable wind was blowing. Six weeks later we arrived safely in Ceylon.
About two weeks later, the governor’s eldest son invited me to go hunting. I accepted this invitation with the greatest joy. My companion, a strong and healthy man, easily tolerated the tropical heat. I, despite the fact that we walked slowly, got tired very quickly, fell further and further behind and finally completely lost sight of my companion. I was walking through the forest. A stormy stream running nearby spread freshness and coolness and beckoned to rest. Before I had time to sit down, I heard a rustling behind me.
I jumped up and couldn’t move from my place due to horror. A huge tiger was walking towards me. It was obvious that he was going to have a lot of breakfast and, of course, would not wait for consent. My gun was loaded with shot. This charge was good for a hare, but what did it mean for a tiger! “Come what may,” I said to myself and took aim at random. Out of excitement, I shot before the tiger approached to shoot, and missed. The tiger roared and rushed at me with terrible fury. Only out of a sense of self-preservation was I ready to resort to the last resort - flight. I started running and almost at that very moment I came across a terrible crocodile, the very memory of which still gives me goosebumps. The crocodile opened its huge mouth to swallow me.
Imagine what a terrible situation I was in! There was a tiger behind me, a crocodile in front, and to my right an abyss where poisonous snakes were crawling.
An unspeakable horror seized me. I think if it were me, Hercules would have been just as scared as I was. I fell to the ground like a sheaf. On the one hand, a tiger, on the other, a crocodile, threatened me with imminent death. So several long, agonizing seconds passed.

Suddenly I heard a sound, sharp and strong. I raised my head and understood everything. What I saw caused me both boundless surprise and unspeakably joy. The tiger, who jumped on me at the moment when I fell to the ground, did not calculate the jump, jumped over me and fell into the mouth of the crocodile.
The tiger who had a very big head, was stuck in its mouth and could not free itself, and the crocodile was not able to swallow it. In an instant I jumped up to the floundering animals and with one blow of my saber cut off the tiger’s head; A lifeless body fell at my feet. Having finished with the tiger, I grabbed the gun and began to push its head into the crocodile's mouth until it suffocated.
Soon after this, my companion returned, concerned about my long absence. He congratulated me on such a glorious victory.
When I told the governor about this amazing incident, he ordered to send for the tiger and crocodile I had killed. I ordered pouches to be sewn from tiger skin; I gave some of them away to my Ceylon friends. He took the rest to Holland and presented them to the burgomaster. It took me a lot of effort to refuse the thousand ducats that the burgomaster wanted to give me for my gift.
I ordered a stuffed animal to be made from the skin of a crocodile and brought it as a gift to the Amsterdam Museum, which is very proud of my gift as one of its greatest attractions.
I’ll tell you about another extraordinary phenomenon that I observed on my way back from Ceylon to Europe. Suddenly our ship was forced to change course. This circumstance made me very happy, since thanks to it I became acquainted with the warm Gulf Stream. The weather was unusually warm, but on sunny days the water was so hot that you could boil meat or eggs in it.
What struck me most were the huge schools of all kinds of sea fish, happily swimming and playing near the ship. And when they managed to catch them with a fishing rod or net, they immediately died in the air and turned out to be completely cooked, so that they could be eaten right away, and they had an excellent taste. The question of how it is possible for boiled fish to frolic in boiling sea water occupied us for a long time until we found an explanation for it. The water warmed up gradually, and the fish little by little got used to the higher temperature. When she then fell into colder air, the heat, of course, rushed in, killed the life in her, and the boiled fish could be immediately served on the table.
There was, therefore, absolutely nothing surprising in this phenomenon. - Page 8 - Second adventure In 1776 I sailed from Portsmouth to North America on an English ship. It was a well-armed warship with a hundred cannons.
On the way, no special adventures happened to us, only once, when we walked at a distance of three hundred miles from the mouth of the St. Lavrentiya, the ship hit something that we took for an underwater rock. However, when we measured the depth, we did not find the bottom at a distance of five hundred fathoms.
This case seemed unusual and incomprehensible. In addition, we lost our rudder, the masts broke, two of them fell onto the deck.
One of the sailors, who was on the mast, was thrown far into the sea by the blow. He was saved only by clinging to the tail of a large seabird in flight and slowly descending with it. When the bird was on the water, he sat astride it and swam to the ship.
The blow was so strong that everyone on the middle deck was thrown high. I hit my head hard on the ceiling and my head sunk deep into my shoulders. Only a few months later the neck and head returned to their original place.
Soon everything became clear: the rock we hit was not a rock at all. It was a whale of colossal size, dozing peacefully in the sun. Awakened by our screams and noise, the whale flew into a rage, grabbed a large anchor hanging at the stern of the ship with its teeth, and dragged us at breakneck speed.
For ten hours we rushed to nowhere. It is difficult to say where and when we would have stopped, but fortunately the anchor chain broke and the whale swam on alone. We got away with losing our anchor.
Six months later, returning to Europe, we saw that same whale. But now he was dead. His huge body swayed on the surface of the water. The monster was so large that only a small part of it could be taken onto the ship.
Arriving in a boat, we cut off his head with great difficulty. To our great joy, our anchor ended up in the whale’s mouth; the end of an anchor chain ten fathoms long protruded from the hollow of the left tooth.
The whale encounter was the only outstanding incident on this voyage. Guilty! I almost forgot another accident. While the whale was dragging the ship, the ship leaked. The water came in very quickly. We were in danger of sinking in just half an hour. The hole was quite large. Fortunately, I was the first to notice the trouble. And then a wonderful thought occurred to me; It was to her that the ship and crew owed their salvation. Without any ceremony, I plugged the hole with the back of my body. Of course, it was quite cool to sit, but this did not last long - I was soon freed thanks to the skill of the carpenter who came to the rescue. - Page 9 - Third adventure Once I almost died in the Mediterranean Sea. One fine summer day I was swimming near Marseille. As soon as I entered the water, I suddenly saw a huge fish, its mouth wide open, swimming straight towards me. It was impossible to escape from the fish. What to do? I bent over and slipped safely between the fish's teeth and into its stomach. It goes without saying that complete darkness reigned in my new room, but I could not complain about the lack of warmth.

My stay in the monster’s stomach was extremely unpleasant for its owner, who made every possible effort to get rid of the uninvited guest. Taking advantage of the spaciousness of my room, I began to walk, run, jump, tumble and disturb the monster in every possible way. But when I began to dance the Scottish dance, quickly moving my legs, the animal became extremely irritable and began to violently rush from side to side and finally rose almost vertically out of the water. At that moment he was noticed from an Italian ship sailing past. The sailors began throwing harpoons and after a few minutes they pulled the monster onto the deck.
Suddenly I heard the assembled sailors consulting where to start cutting fish in order to get more fish oil. But, fortunately, their knives did not hit me. As soon as the light entered the darkness, I screamed with all my might. I sent greetings to the sailors, saying that I was glad to see these kind people who freed me from my stuffy prison.
It is difficult to convey the surprise that gripped the sailors when they heard a human voice coming from the belly of the fish. They were even more amazed when I jumped out of the fish and greeted them with a bow. - Page 10 - Fourth Adventure When I served with the Turkish Sultan, I really loved to take walks on my two-masted ship along the Sea of ​​Marmara, from where I had a wonderful view of Constantinople.
One day, while sailing on the sea, I admired the wonderful clear sky and suddenly saw above me some round object no larger than a billiard ball, to which something else was tied.
I had an excellent long-range gun with me, which I never parted with. I loaded it with a bullet and fired. The object that had caught my attention was still hanging in the air. I loaded the gun again, but with two bullets, but this did not lead to anything. Only with the third shot, when the gun was loaded with four or five bullets, did I manage to pierce the mysterious ball, which began to slowly descend.
Imagine my surprise! About four meters from my boat, a gilded basket containing a huge balloon fell into the water.
There was an aeronaut in the basket, and half of a freshly roasted lamb lay next to it. I ordered my men to take this man on board the ship.
The balloonist was French. He was dressed very richly: from each pocket of his vest he had two gold chains with a lot of key rings on which were painted portraits of noble men and ladies. From each loop of his doublet hung a gold medal. The fingers are decorated with precious diamond rings. Pockets are full of wallets, tightly stuffed with gold. The Frenchman's excitement was so great that he could hardly speak.
Having calmed down somewhat, he told us the following:
- I am a rope dancer and tightrope walker. About eight days ago I rose from an English cape in a balloon with a lamb to show my act to the large audience who had gathered for the performance. Unfortunately, about ten minutes after I got up, a strong wind blew and carried the balloon towards the sea. I was flying at a terrible altitude. Already on the third day I began to be tormented by severe hunger, and the poor lamb had to be slaughtered.
I rose higher and higher. A month had already remained under me for a long time, and the ball flew and flew. A day later I got so close to the sun that it scorched my eyebrows. Having skinned the lamb, I put it in a completely open place, where the sun was hottest, and after forty minutes the lamb was fried. This is what I ate all the time.
The Frenchman fell silent and began to look into the distance, from where the city could be seen. He was extremely surprised to learn that it was Constantinople and that the wind had carried him so far away.
“My balloon lasted so long in the air,” he added, “for the reason that the conductor from the balloon valve for releasing hydrogen unfortunately broke.” If your shot had not penetrated the ball, I would have had to rush between heaven and earth until the second coming.
The Frenchman, in a fit of generosity, gave the basket to my boatswain. As for the ball, due to the damage caused by my shots, it became completely unusable. - Page 11 - Fifth Adventure A few months before my return to Europe, an amazing adventure happened to me. The Sultan, to whom I was introduced by the Russian, French and Roman ambassadors, gave me a secret mission to Cairo of extreme importance.
I left Turkey accompanied by a large retinue. On the way, I had the opportunity to increase my servants with several very interesting subjects.
Not far from Constantinople I met a small, thin man. Even though he had a fifty-pound lead weight tied to each leg, he ran very fast.
This surprised me very much, and I asked him:
-Where are you going, buddy? Why are there weights tied to your feet?
- I'm fleeing Vienna. “I left this city half an hour ago,” answered the walker. - In Vienna I served with noble gentlemen, but today I received my resignation. Now I’m heading to Constantinople to look for a job. I don’t need to rush, and so, in order to slow down the run, I tied these weights, remembering my school teacher’s favorite saying: “The slower you go, the further you will go.”
I liked the walker. I invited him to enter my service, to which he readily agreed. We moved on. We met many countries and cities on the way. Once, not far from the road, I saw a man lying motionless in a wonderful meadow overgrown with lush grass. It seemed to me that he was fast asleep. However, this man did not sleep: he pressed his ear to the ground, as if listening to what the inhabitants of the underworld were doing.
-What are you listening to there, my friend? - I asked him.
- Out of boredom, I listen to the grass growing in the field.
- And you hear this?
- Of course, it’s so easy!
- Come to my service. “Who knows what you will have to listen to..,” I thought.
The man stood up and followed me.
Soon I noticed a hunter on a small hill. He aimed at something for a long time and then shot, as it seemed to me, into the air.
- Hello, Mr. Hunter! Please tell me what you were shooting at just now? I see nothing here except the sky.
- ABOUT! I'm just trying out a new gun. There, on the spire of Strasbourg Cathedral, sat a sparrow. I shot him now
Anyone who knows my passion for a noble occupation will readily understand me and will not be surprised that I threw myself on the neck of this wonderful shooter. Of course, I spared nothing to take him into my service.
We set off again.
We passed through many countries and cities and finally reached Mount Lebanon. A centuries-old cedar forest appeared. A thick, stocky man stood here and pulled with both hands the rope that was tied around the entire forest.
- Why are you doing this, buddy? - I asked this Samson.
- Well, I came to cut wood to build a house, but I forgot my axe. We must somehow help the grief,
With these words, he immediately pulled the rope and the entire forest, occupying at least a square mile, fell to the ground like reeds. It's not hard to guess what I did. I decided not to part with the strongman, even if it took all my ambassadorial salary.
Finally we reached Egypt. But as soon as we crossed the border, a terrible hurricane arose. Every minute I was afraid that my carriages, horses and people would be carried away by the whirlwind.
To the left of the road stood seven windmills side by side. Their wings were spinning like crazy. To the right of the road, opposite the mill, I saw an unusually thick man covering his right nostril with his index finger.
As soon as he noticed the terrible situation we were in, he immediately turned to us and respectfully took off his hat, like a soldier before an officer. At that very moment the wind died down, and all the mills instantly stopped. Surprised by this incident, which seemed supernatural to me, I shouted to the fat man:
- What does this mean? Has a demon entered you, or are you the devil yourself?
“Excuse me, your lordship,” the fat man answered me, “I was busy producing wind on the orders of my master, the miller, but so that the wind would not blow away all seven mills, I stopped one nostril.”
"It is excellent! When you return home, I said to myself, and begin to tell your wonderful adventures at sea and on land, and it takes your breath away, this man, whose lungs are as good as a blacksmith’s bellows, will be very useful.”
We soon agreed, and this man joined my retinue.
Finally we arrived in Cairo. I successfully completed all the Sultan’s instructions and a week later, together with my wonderful servants, I decided to return back. - Page 12 - Having returned from the Egyptian expedition, I came more and more into the favor of the Sultan. His Majesty invited me every morning and evening to his table.
I must admit that of all the rulers of the world, the Sultan has the most delicate and elegant table. Of course, this remark must be applied only to foods, and not to drinks, for it is known that Mohammed forbade his followers to drink wine. For this reason, you cannot count on at least a glass of good wine in any Turkish restaurant.
But much that cannot be done openly is often done secretly. Despite the prohibition of the Koran, some Turks know a lot about wine no worse than a straightforward German. The Sultan was also a big wine lover.
After dinner, His Majesty went to his office, where a bottle of good wine usually awaited him.
One day the Sultan made a furtive sign for me to follow him into his office. Having locked the door, he took out a bottle from a small secret cabinet and said:
- Munchausen, I know that you Christians understand wine. I still have a bottle of Tokay left. I'm sure you've never drunk such wine in your life.
The Sultan poured himself and me some wine and clinked glasses with me. - What do you think? The wine isn't bad, isn't it?
“The wine is excellent, Your Majesty,” I objected, “but, with your permission, I allow myself to say that in Vienna, with the late Emperor Charles VI, I drank much better wine.”
- My friend, I believe you, but really, there is no Tokaji better than this in the world. It was given to me by a Hungarian nobleman who had only one bottle of this rare wine.
- Believe me, Your Majesty, wine and wine are different. I bet that in an hour I will deliver you a bottle of Tokay from the imperial cellar, which will be immeasurably better.
- My friend Munchausen, you are truly delusional.
- No, I'm not delusional. I repeat that in an hour I will deliver you a bottle of Tokay from the imperial cellar. Once you taste this wine, you won't want to look at your own.
- Munchausen, Munchausen! You seem to want to make me laugh. Be careful, this won't work for you. for nothing. Until now I knew you as a completely truthful person, but now, I swear, you are not telling the truth.
- Your Majesty! I am ready to prove in practice that I am telling the absolute truth. If I do not keep my promise, and Your Majesty knows that I hate all lies and boasting, order my head, which is worth something, to be cut off, and therefore let me find out what you will offer in exchange for it.
- I'll take you at your word. If you do not keep your promise and there is no Tokay at exactly four o’clock, do not expect mercy for yourself, your head will be cut off immediately. I warn you that I will not allow myself to be fooled even by my best friend. If you win the bet, you will receive from my treasury as much gold, silver and jewelry as the strongest man can carry.
“So be it,” I replied.
They brought me pen and ink, and I wrote a note to Empress Maria Theresa: “Your Imperial Majesty! Without any doubt, as the only heir of your late father, you deigned to inherit the wine cellar of the late emperor. Allow me to ask Your Majesty for a bottle of Tokaji, which I often drank at your father’s. I ask you to give my envoy the best wine: this is a bet. I take this opportunity to assure Your Majesty of my deepest respect, etc. etc."
It was five minutes past four. I handed the note to my walker. The latter took the weights off his feet and walked to Vienna. While waiting for Tokay, the Sultan and I finished the bottle we had started.
A quarter past three struck, half past, three quarters, but there was neither a word nor a breath of the speedster! Frankly speaking, I became a real coward. It seemed to me that the Sultan was not without a second thought looking at the bell, and I well understood that the executioner would not hesitate to appear when the bell rang.
True, the Sultan allowed me to go out into the garden to get some fresh air, but my every step was closely watched by two servants. The clock showed five minutes to four. My excitement grew more and more intense, and I sent for the shooter and the servant, who had an amazingly fine ear, that is, for my “listener.”
They immediately came to my call. The “listener” fell to the ground, listened for a while and said that the walker was fast asleep far from here, snoring loudly. I was horrified by these words and didn’t know what to do.
But then my brave shooter ran up onto the high terrace, stood on tiptoe, looked into the distance and exclaimed:
- I swear by the salvation of my soul, the lazy man is sleeping under an oak tree near Belgrade, and there is a bottle next to him. Wait a minute, I'll wake you up!
He immediately loaded his gun and fired at the oak tree. A whole heap of acorns, branches and leaves fell on the walker. He jumped up and walked even faster, afraid of being late. Half a minute before four o'clock, my envoy stood in the Sultan's office with a bottle in his hands and a letter from Maria Theresa herself. My triumph was boundless. At first the Sultan seemed displeased that I had won the bet, but soon the displeasure passed, and he told me in the most cheerful tone;
“I hope, Munchausen, you won’t be offended if I save this bottle for myself.” You are on better terms with the Viennese court than I am, and you will always be able to get yourself a Tokay.
With these words, he hid the bottle in the locker, put the key in the pocket of his wide trousers and rang the bell to summon the treasurer.
What lovely music the silvery ringing of the bell seemed to me! There's nothing you can do, you have to pay the bet.
“Please immediately give my friend Munchausen,” the Sultan turned to the treasurer who had entered, “as much gold and jewelry as the strongest man can carry.” Having gently shook my hand, the Sultan mercifully released us both.
The treasurer led me into the dungeons of the palace, filled to the brim with treasures. I called my strongman. He shouldered all the gold that was in the Sultan’s storerooms, and we hurried to the sea.
In the harbor I hired the largest ship and immediately sailed away with all my people and wealth.
But exactly what I feared happened. The treasurer ran to the Sultan and told him that my strongman had emptied all the storerooms.
The Sultan immediately repented of his reckless promise and ordered the admiral with the entire fleet to go in pursuit of me.
We had only gone two miles from the harbor when I saw the Turkish fleet chasing us with full sail. To tell the truth, I again began to fear for my head.
Then my servant, who knew how to make wind so skillfully, came up to me and said:
- Your Excellency, please don’t worry!
He immediately stood on the stern, turned one nostril towards the Turkish fleet, and the other towards our sails, and began to blow with all his might. Because of the terrible wind, the entire Turkish fleet flew away from us into the harbor. And we arrived in Italy in a few hours.
But I didn't use my treasures. There is terrible poverty and squalor in Italy; There are masses of beggars everywhere on the streets, and the police are not watching for anything. Following the impulses of my kind heart, I distributed most of the treasures I brought to the poor, and what was left was taken from me by robbers on the way to Rome. So, I did not get rich from the gold and treasures that I won from the Sultan in a bet. - Page 13 - Sixth Adventure
(Recorded from the words of one of Baron Munchausen's close friends) Having finished the previous story, the baron, despite requests, refused to continue the conversation and left, leaving the company in the best mood. But he promised at the first opportunity to tell the very interesting adventures of his father and several funny anecdotes.
Everyone began to express their opinions about the last story, which made a strong impression on the listeners.
One of those present, a friend of the baron who was with him in Turkey, said that there was a huge cannon near Constantinople. The famous writer Baron Tott mentioned it in his memoirs.
“As far as I remember,” the narrator noted, “that’s what Tott said.” “The Turks fortified a huge cannon near the city above the fortress.
It was cast from copper, and they fired marble balls, each weighing a thousand pounds.
To see for myself the destructive effect of this weapon, I asked to fire the cannon. Everyone was horrified, for they were sure that the shock produced by this shot would destroy all the houses and palaces. Little by little the fear dissipated and I was finally allowed to shoot.
The cannon was loaded with three hundred pounds of gunpowder and a thousand pounds of marble ball. When the lit fuse was handed over, everyone retreated as far as possible. The gunner, to whom I gave instructions on how to shoot, was somewhat cowardly.
I commanded “Fire!” A shot rang out. I was thrown against the wall with such force, as if the earth shook. Having flown three hundred fathoms, the core broke into three parts. Its fragments sank into the sea and agitated the sea surface. The water boiled and became covered with continuous foam. Then the fragments hit the opposite mountains.”
“That’s all I can remember from Baron Tott’s story about the famous cannon,” the narrator continued. - When Baron Munchausen and I were in that area, we were told about the amazing courage of Baron Tott.
Baron Munchausen did not allow the thought that some Frenchman could outshine him with his feat; he walked up to the cannon, put it on his shoulders, set it in balance and, jumping into the strait, swam to the opposite shore and reached it safely.
Unfortunately, he decided to throw the cannon from the other side to its original place. I say "unfortunately" because the gun slipped out of his hands before he could swing it properly. Having flown halfway across the strait, she fell into the water, where she lies to this day and, probably, will lie until the second coming.
This incident with the cannon was the reason for the final break between Baron Munchausen and the Sultan. The baron's devastation of the treasury was long forgotten. Thanks to large incomes, in a short time the Sultan replenished his treasury with new treasures and invited the baron, who probably would not have left Turkey even now if the ill-fated cannon had not perished. This loss angered the fierce ruler so much that he ordered the baron's head to be cut off. Fortunately, one of his well-wishers warned the baron of the impending danger, and he fled that same night to a ship that sailed to Venice and arrived there safely. The Baron did not like to talk about this episode, firstly, because he was unable to throw the cannon across the strait, and secondly, because his life was in the balance. But since this whole story does not cast any shadow on the name of the baron, glorified by his exploits, sometimes, in his absence, I allow myself to tell this very interesting episode from the life of the baron in Turkey. - Page 14 - Seventh Adventure As soon as the baron returned, everyone surrounded him and began to ask him to tell him something from his life, so rich in interesting adventures.
The Baron did not yield for a long time. He had the gift of telling very entertaining stories, but he did this only when inspiration struck him and never deviated from his habits. Seeing that all attempts to persuade the baron were in vain, everyone began to gradually disperse.
Finally, the long-awaited evening arrived. From the smile playing on the baron's face, everyone understood that he was in a good mood and not averse to telling something.
Everyone fell silent and prepared to listen with great attention.
“During the last siege of Gibraltar,” the baron began his story, “on one of the ships that brought supplies, commanded by Lord Rodney, I sailed to the fortress to visit my old friend General Elliot, who gained immortal fame in the defense of Gibraltar. We were incredibly happy each other To a friend. When the first gusts of joy subsided, the general took me to show the fortress. I became acquainted with the state of the garrison and the disposition of the enemy.
I had with me a magnificent telescope, which I bought in London. I looked at the enemy camp and suddenly saw that the enemy had aimed a thirty-six-pound gun at the place where we stood. Without hesitating a moment, I ordered a forty-eight-pound gun to be placed in this very place.
I can say without boasting that in artillery knowledge I have no rivals. I pointed the muzzle of the cannon directly at the muzzle of the enemy gun, and at that moment, when the Spanish gunner brought the lit fuse, I commanded our gun “Fire!” At the same moment, two shots rang out. Halfway there the shells collided. Something amazing happened.

The enemy's cannonball was thrown back to Africa with terrible force, tore off the head of a gunner and sixteen artillerymen, smashed into pieces the masts of three ships standing one behind the other, flew another two hundred English miles and finally, in some village, hit the roof of a poor hut, making a hole it landed in the mouth of the old woman, who was sleeping on her back and snoring sweetly. Soon her husband came running, but no matter how hard he tried to pull out the stuck cannonball, he could not do anything. Then he pushed the kernel into the stomach, where it came out naturally.
Our shell, having thrown back the enemy, flew further, knocked off the carriage the cannon from which the enemies had just fired at us, hit their warship and pierced the bottom. The ship sprung a leak and sank a few minutes later with its entire crew.
Without a doubt, this was the greatest feat. But I am far from thinking of attributing it only to myself. Of course, the honor of the invention belonged only to me, but a happy accident also helped. Subsequently, it turned out that a double charge of gunpowder was accidentally placed in our forty-eight-pound gun, which should be attributed to the impact force of our cannonball, which so successfully repelled the enemy’s.
For my service, General Elliot offered me to become a combat officer in his garrison, but I declined this offer and was content with the fact that the general, in the presence of all the officers, thanked me in the most flattering terms that same evening at dinner.
Feeding boundless sympathy for the English as the bravest people in the world, I decided not to leave the fortress until I had rendered them some further service. Three weeks later such an opportunity presented itself. I put on the uniform of a Spanish soldier and left the fortress at midnight. Unnoticed by anyone, I carefully made my way into the enemy camp, crept up to the tent where a military council was taking place regarding the assault on our fortress. I managed to hear everything down to the smallest detail. When the council ended, the count and the officers went to bed, and soon the entire camp, not excluding the sentries, fell into a deep sleep. When I was sure that everyone was asleep, I quietly crept up to the cannons and quickly began throwing them into the sea, one after another, away from the shore.
I worked alone and I must say that it was the most difficult work of my life, because there were more than three hundred guns. Then I pulled the carriages and carts with charging boxes into one pile in the middle of the camp. I tried to make as little noise as possible, so I had to carry carts and carts under my arm. When this pile grew as big as a mountain, I set it on fire. She flared up like gunpowder. A terrible fire started.
To divert suspicion from myself, I was the first to raise the alarm. It is easy to imagine the horror and confusion that gripped the entire camp. When the panic passed, everyone decided that the sentries had been bribed by the enemy and let seven or eight English regiments through, which destroyed all the artillery.
The news published by the government about this case spoke of heavy losses suffered by the enemy due to the fire. But no one knew who to attribute it to. Although I, I alone, saved Gibraltar that night. I did not tell anyone, not even General Elliot, about my exploit. - Page 15 - Two months later, after the siege of Gibraltar was lifted, I had breakfast with General Elliot. It was morning. We chatted nonchalantly. Suddenly, beyond all expectation, a bomb flew into our room (having destroyed the enemy cannons, I, for lack of time, left their mortars unharmed) and fell on the table. The general jumped up, as almost anyone in his place would have done, and immediately left the room.
Before the bomb could explode, I grabbed it and carried it to the top of the cliff, from where I saw that a large crowd of people had gathered on the opposite enemy shore. What these people were doing, I could not understand, because they were very far from me, and only through a telescope I saw what was happening there. The Spanish soldiers set up a gallows on which they were going to hang two of our officers - a general and a colonel. I spent the evening with them in our fortress the previous evening. At night they made their way into the enemy camp, fell into the hands of the Spaniards and now had to pay with their lives for their risk. It was very far from the rock on which I stood, and I could not throw the bomb with my hands to the place where the gallows stood. Then, fortunately, I remembered that I had a sling in my pocket, the same one with which David once killed Goliath.
I put the bomb in the sling and threw the shell at the people standing on the hill. Instantly the bomb flew to the enemy shore, hit the ground and exploded. Its fragments killed everyone there, with the exception of the English officers who had already been hanged, but fortunately for them, a piece of the bomb hit the gallows and knocked it down. Our officers found themselves on the ground and did not know how to explain such an amazing incident. They immediately took each other out of the noose and began to run to the shore where the boats were. Jumping into one of the Spanish boats, they ordered the people sitting in it to take them to our shore. A few minutes later, as I was telling General Elliot what had happened, the miraculously saved officers entered. Congratulations followed, stories about deliverance from certain death. We celebrated this memorable day with fitting triumph.
The reader is probably burning with curiosity to find out how such a treasure as David’s sling came into my possession. I must say that this historical relic has been kept in our family for many centuries. Passing from generation to generation, it went to my father, and from him, shortly before my trip to Gibraltar, it came to me.
My father once told me one very interesting story, the veracity of which none of our friends doubted.
“During my trips abroad,” my father began his story, “I lived for a long time in England. Once I went for a walk Coast. Suddenly an angry sea horse attacked me. I had nothing on me except a sling. I put two pebbles into it and threw them so deftly at my enemy that I knocked out both his eyes. The monster went blind, immediately humbled himself and became tame. Then I jumped on him and galloped across the sea, bridling with a sling. I rode him across the entire ocean quickly and easily. In less than three hours we arrived on the opposite shore. I sold my horse to the owner of the Three Glasses Hotel. The innkeeper began to show the monster for money and soon became rich.
“No matter how amazing the method of my journey is,” continued the father, “it means nothing compared to the amazing discoveries that I made along the way,
My horse did not swim, but ran along the bottom of the sea incredibly fast. Every now and then I met millions of fish, completely different from those that we are used to seeing. In some of them the head was placed in the middle of the belly, in others - at the tip of the tail. Some gathered in flocks and sang wonderfully, others built palaces with colossal columns out of water of wondrous beauty. The palaces were completely transparent and shimmered with multi-colored lights inside.
Further along the road I came across a huge chain of mountains, no lower than the Alps. Mighty trees of the most varied species rose up their slopes. Instead of fruits, huge sea animals grew on them: lobsters, crayfish, oysters and similar sea inhabitants. The largest of them would hardly fit in a cart in which bread is carried, and the smallest of them could not be lifted even by a strong man. All that is usually collected and sold in the markets are only the smallest of sea animals, which the water tears from the branches, just as the wind knocks bad, unripe fruits from fruit trees.
Most of the fruit was on the lobster trees: they were completely covered with lobsters. The crayfish and oyster trees were striking in their unusually large sizes. Under the luxurious spreading foliage of the oyster trees, a low-growing bush was placed and, like ivy, twined around the tree that sheltered it. Small sea snails grew on it.
I was tempted to pick something from the tree and take it with me, but, unfortunately, all the animals that grew on the trees were very heavy, and most importantly, it was difficult to stop my Pegasus. In addition, I was jumping at great depths, and the lack of air had a special effect.
There were many dangers along the way. Huge fish were often encountered. With their mouths wide open, first one or the other came close to me and seemed to be waiting for the right moment to swallow us. My poor horse was blind; It was only thanks to my dexterity that I did not become the prey of these hungry sea monsters. Soon I managed to get safely ashore.”
This is where my father's story ends. I must add that the famous sling, which so vividly reminded me of this story, has recently become very worn out. It was kept in our family for a long time and helped us out of trouble more than once.
Personally, I had to resort to it only under the circumstances that I mentioned above, when I was able to so successfully throw a bomb at the Spaniards and save our officers from the gallows. True, the sling exploded. One piece of it - a longer one - was carried away by a bomb; the other - smaller - remained in my hands. I took it home to keep it forever. Soon I left Gibraltar for England, where the most wonderful episode of my life happened to me.
I stopped at the harbor to send something to Hamburg as a gift to my friends. It was noon. The sun was hot. I was very tired and was looking for somewhere to rest in the shade. Without thinking twice, I climbed into the first cannon I came across and fell into a deep sleep.
It was just the king's birthday. The cannon was loaded, as it was ordered to fire a salvo exactly at one o'clock. Of course, no one could have imagined that a man had climbed into the cannon. When the time came, they fired a volley. I flew across the Thames and fell onto a haystack in the yard of some farm. I was stunned, but this state immediately turned into a sound sleep.
I probably would have slept there to this day if three months later they had not decided to take the hay to the market, and at the same time they woke me up...
I often noticed that my listeners, when I told this story, expressed some disbelief on their faces. However, the pear tree that stood near the stack serves as proof that I really slept for three months: these trees usually bloom in early June, and when I woke up, it was completely hung with the ripest juicy pears, and I immediately ate several of them with a large appetite. All this time, my friends did not stop looking for me all over London and were very surprised and delighted when they found out that I was safe and sound, in the same summer dress in the middle of the autumn September day. - Page 16 - Eighth Adventure No doubt readers have heard of the famous traveler to the northern polar countries, Captain Phipps, now Lord Mulgrave.
I accompanied the captain as his friend and a great lover of travel.
We were close to the North Pole. The telescope, so well known to the reader from my stories, was with me as usual. The same sad picture lay before us: the sea and endless ice. I began to look through the tube, which I advise you to always take with you on a trip, and saw half a mile from our ship a huge ice mountain, twice the height of our masts. On this mountain two bears stood on their hind legs opposite each other and, as it seemed to me, were fighting.
I wanted to shoot them. Throwing the gun behind my back, I went up the mountain. The path was very difficult and dangerous; Every now and then I had to jump over deep chasms, climb a smooth, mirror-like, sheer surface. I kept falling and sliding backwards. A lot of time passed before I climbed the mountain. Only now I saw that the bears were not fighting, but playing with each other. They were huge, no smaller than good fattened bulls.
I was already calculating the cost of the fur, but just at the moment when I took aim, my right leg slipped and I fell on my back. Due to the strong blow, I lost consciousness for a quarter of an hour. When I woke up and saw myself lying on my stomach, under a bear, I was incredibly scared. During my unconsciousness, the bear turned me over on my stomach, grabbed me by the leather belt and was about to drag me somewhere. My head and chest were under the bear's belly, and my legs were sticking out. Carefully taking a hunting knife out of my pocket, I cut off three toes on the animal’s hind paw. The bear roared in pain, threw me and ran as fast as he could. I jumped up, grabbed the gun, fired a bullet at the bear and put him down on the spot.
But then another problem awaited me. My shot woke up thousands of bears who were sleeping right here on the mountain. Club-footed people were attacking me from everywhere, every minute was precious. If this happy thought had not dawned on me, I would have inevitably died.
I quickly skinned the dead bear - it took me less time than it takes to skin a hare - and climbed into it. I barely had time to do this when the Bears surrounded me. I can’t say that I felt good in my fur coat: I felt hot and cold. First one, then another Potapych came up and sniffed me. Obviously, they took me for their brother. True, I was smaller than them, however, some of the cubs were no taller than me. Then they started flirting with me. I knew their habits and imitated them perfectly in everything, but I must admit that the Bears grumbled and roared louder than me.
Having secured their trust, I began to think about how I could get out of this situation. I once heard from an old experienced doctor that a wound inflicted in spinal cord, causes instant death. I had no choice but to grab the knife.
Having waited for the right moment, I plunged the knife into the largest bear between the shoulder blades. Of course, I took a lot of risks; if I had missed and not put the beast in its place, it would have torn me to pieces. The bear didn’t make a sound and immediately fell to the ground. All that remained was to repeat the same blow a thousand times... When I killed the last one, I involuntarily compared myself with Samson, who killed thousands of Philistines with one jaw.
Then I returned to the ship and asked the captain to give me three-quarters of the entire crew. We skinned and cut off the hams. This took several hours.
When we returned to England, I sent to the Lord Mayor and other lords a portion of the hams as a gift in the name of Captain Phipps; part - to trading companies; the rest are to my best friends. Everyone thanked me very much, and the London magistrate also honored me with an invitation to participate in the annual gala dinner held at the Guildhall on the day of the election of the Lord Mayor.
I presented all the bear skins to the empress of one of the northern states for fur coats for Her Majesty and the ranks of the highest court. Her Majesty thanked me with a handwritten letter, which was delivered to me by the Ambassador Extraordinary. In this letter she offered me the honor of sharing the throne with her, but since I was not at all tempted by the imperial rank, I, in the most refined terms, declined this favor.
At one time there were false rumors that Captain Phipps did not come close enough to the North Pole, as he should have done. I consider it my moral duty to say a few words in defense of the captain. Our ship was on the right course; but when we loaded the skins and hams of the bears I had killed, it was not only not possible for the captain to go further north with such a heavy load, but it seemed crazy, since we were barely moving on sails against the wind, which had driven up a lot of ice. Captain Phipps was very displeased that I had not invited him to the hunt, and that the whole honor of the memorable day, which he, by the way, called Bearskin Day, belonged to me alone. He was quite jealous of my fame and tried in every possible way to diminish it. We often quarreled, and even now we have a bad relationship with him. For example, he claims that it is completely wrong for me to take credit for being able to deceive the bears. He assures that he would not need to dress up in a bearskin, since the bears would already have mistaken him for their fellow man.
Of course, no well-mannered person would argue about such a sensitive issue with anyone, especially with a noble peer.

Ninth Adventure

From England I went to the East Indies with Captain Hamilton. At that time I had a wonderful pointing dog with rare instincts. I wouldn't part with her for any money.
One day, when we were at sea, at a distance of about three hundred miles from land, according to the best calculations, I noticed that my dog ​​became very restless. At first I didn't think much of it. An hour passed, and the dog became even more worried. I drew the attention of the captain and officers to this and began to assure them that the shore was close, since my dog ​​smelled game.
Everyone started laughing at me, but I stood my ground and continued to prove that instinct could not deceive my dog.
Everyone began to argue and prove the opposite. Having waited for the right moment, I solemnly declared that I trusted my Trey’s instincts more than my own eyes and the eyes of the whole crew, and offered the captain a hundred guineas bet that in half an hour we would be shooting game. The good-natured captain laughed and asked the doctor to take my pulse. The doctor found me to be completely healthy.
Then they spoke in low voices, but I heard almost everything they whispered.
“His head is not right,” said the captain. - It's not fair to accept his bet.
“I don’t agree with you,” the doctor objected, “he’s completely healthy, he just trusts his dog’s instincts more than the experience of all our officers.” Of course he will lose the bet; he needs to be punished, he fully deserves it.
“Still, accepting such a bet,” the captain continued, “is dishonest.” I will do as you say, but I will return the money to him when I win.
Trey did not move from his spot, and it was clear from him that he smelled game somewhere nearby. Then I proposed a bet again, and we shook hands.
In less than a few minutes, the sailors who were fishing in a large boat pulled out a huge shark. They ripped open the fish's belly, and so what? There were twelve live partridges there. The poor things were cooped up for so long that one partridge laid eggs and hatched one chick. We gave this chicken to the care of a cat who had just lambed. The cat loved the new cub as much as her kittens and was always very worried when the old partridge flew away and did not return for a long time. During the entire journey, there was no game left at the captain's table. First one partridge, then the other sat on the eggs and hatched chickens. My faithful Trey, who won my bet of a hundred guineas, ate bones every day, and sometimes received a whole bird

Tenth Adventure(My second trip to the moon)

I once already talked about my trip to the moon. Then I went, as you probably remember, in search of my hatchet. But I happened to get to the moon a second time. This time I traveled in greater comfort; I stayed on the Moon for quite a long time and managed to study a lot. I will try to tell about everything I saw with the smallest details.
One of my distant relatives got it into his head that somewhere there must certainly live people similar in stature and appearance to those whom Gulliver talks about in his famous journey.
Here's to opening this new country my relative decided to take a trip and invited me with him. Gulliver's stories always seemed like a fairy tale to me, but since a relative made me his heir, I considered it inconvenient to refuse his invitation.
Our voyage to the Pacific Ocean was quite safe. If it’s worth mentioning anything we saw, it’s only about the flying fish, which either danced a minuet in the air, or whirled in a waltz, or threw out various intricate pirouettes.
On the eighteenth day of our journey near the island of Tahiti, a hurricane suddenly hit us and lifted our ship into the air, almost a thousand miles. For some time the ship was stationary. Then a fresh wind filled the sails and carried us quickly. For six weeks we flew above the clouds. At the end of the sixth week we saw a large island from which some kind of flickering light was coming. The island had a convenient harbor; we went in there, dropped anchor and went ashore. Below us we could see another land with cities, trees, mountains, rivers, seas, etc. In all likelihood, this was the land we abandoned.
The island we landed on turned out to be the Moon. Here we saw huge creatures riding around on vultures. Each vulture had three heads. These birds were so large that the distance between the wings was six times greater than the longest rope of our ship. The inhabitants of the moon ride these birds, like people ride horses.
When we got to the Moon, their king was at war with the Sun. He invited me to join his army, but I refused this honor.
Everything on the Moon amazed us with its colossal size; for example, a housefly was the size of our sheep.
Radish is the most favorite weapon of the inhabitants of the Moon. Darts are made from it and used to fight in war. Those wounded by radishes die immediately. The warriors' shields are made of giant mushrooms. When the radish season is over, they fight with asparagus stalks.
Once here I met the inhabitants of the Canis constellation, these famous traders. They conduct extensive trade with Luna. Their faces look like those of bulldogs. Eyes without lids, located on both sides of the tip of the nose or, more precisely, under the nostrils. When they go to bed, they close them with their tongue. They are large, at least twenty feet tall.
The inhabitants of the Moon are not shorter than thirty-six feet. Well acquainted with the use of fire, they cook food on it, just like us. They call themselves a little strange: not people, but “digesters.”
However, they spend very little time on food. When they feel hungry, they open small doors located on the left side of the stomach and put all their lunch there at once, after which the doors close again. They dine once a month, that is, no more than twelve times a year. I think many of our gluttons and gourmands may envy such moderation in food.
The joys of love are completely unknown on the Moon. All people there are same-sex.
Everything grows on trees, which differ from each other both in fruits and leaves. The trees that people grow on are much more beautiful than that. other. They have large, straight branches and flesh-colored leaves. The fruits of these trees are nuts with a very hard shell, at least six feet in size. When the fruits are ripe (this can be recognized by the color of the fruit), they are carefully picked and stored for as long as deemed necessary. If they want to remove the fruit from the nut, then they throw it into a large cauldron of boiling water; After a few hours, the shell bursts and a living creature emerges. Each of the moon people appears with a specific profession. From one shell comes a soldier, from another a philosopher, from a third a lawyer, from a fourth a peasant, etc. Everyone now begins to put their theoretical knowledge into practice.
The inhabitants of the Moon do not die. When they grow old, they dissolve into the air and disappear like steam.
They have one finger on each hand. With them they do whatever they want, and much better than us, who have five fingers.
Their head is under their right armpit. When they get ready to travel or go to work, they usually leave their heads at home, which does not prevent them, if necessary, from turning to her for advice, regardless of the distance.
When the local aristocrats want to know what other people are doing and how they live, they do not need to leave the house. They calmly send their heads. Completely incognito, the head walks everywhere, listens, collects information and, upon request, returns to its owner.
Grape fruits on the Moon are like two peas in a pod similar to our hail. I'm sure when the wind gets up on the Moon and knocks over the grapes, they roll down to Earth as hail. I think that wine merchants have known about these grape berries for a long time. At least, more than once I happened to buy wine that both tasted and looked like what I drank on the Moon, and was more likely made from hailstones than from vines.
I almost forgot one more remarkable detail. The inhabitants of the Moon use their belly as a suitcase. They hide everything there; They unlock and lock their belly at will. They have no liver, no heart, or other internal organs.
They can take their eyes out and put them back in; They see equally well with them, no matter whether the eye remains in its place or is held in the hand. When they lose an eye, they buy a new one, with which they can see as well as their own. There are eye traders everywhere on the Moon. Thanks to fashion and the extreme variety of tastes, the eye trade is the most profitable. In fashion there are sometimes brown, sometimes green, sometimes blue eyes.
I readily believe that all this may seem strange. But I invite anyone who even a little doubts what I am telling to go to the Moon himself to verify the veracity of my descriptions. - Page 19 - To the story of my second trip to the Moon I want to add a story, the veracity of which is also undeniable, but whose strangeness even surpasses the first.
Reading the book “Journey to Sicily” gave me a desire to visit Mount Etna, and I set off.
Dear, I didn’t meet anything interesting. Someone else in my place would probably find a lot of surprising things. To me, everything that came my way seemed such trifles that I don’t even want to talk about it.
After spending the night in some hut at the foot of Etna, in the morning I began to climb the mountain. I decided at all costs, even at the cost of my life, to study the internal structure of this famous volcano.
The ascent was very difficult and lasted three hours.
A volcano in action has been described more than once. All these descriptions give a very weak idea of ​​​​what is really happening, and therefore I will not waste time on this and will immediately move on to what happened to me.
I walked around the crater three times and found that it looked like an ordinary funnel of enormous size. I was well aware that no matter how much I beat around the bush, I would learn nothing more. And then, without further thought, he jumped into the crater.
I found myself in a very hot steam bath. Red hot coals flew around me and burned mercilessly from all sides. Obviously, the force throwing out the coals could not throw me out along with them, and I fell lower and lower until I found myself at the bottom of the volcano.
Here I was immediately deafened by an indescribable noise, din and roar.
When I opened my eyes, I saw Vulcan and the Cyclopes in front of me.
These gentlemen, in whose existence I have long ceased to believe, live as if nothing had happened. For three weeks they argued heatedly about something. This was the reason for that terrible roar that was heard all this time on Etna and on the surface of the earth.
My appearance immediately brought about peace and silence.
When I introduced myself, Vulkan hobbled to the cabinet, took out a plaster and some ointment, and with his own hands covered all my burns. It must have been a magic balm, because all my abrasions, bruises and burns healed instantly.
One Cyclops brought a jug of warm sea water for washing, after which the polite owner led me to his rightful half - Lady Venus, who could not at all be given her venerable age of several thousand years.

Now I regret two things: firstly, why I didn’t ask where I could buy the wonderful balm, or, if Vulcan himself prepares it, then what recipe it is made according to; and, secondly, thanks to what cosmetics Mrs. Venus was so well preserved. I have several aunts who would be very grateful for these messages. With both means a colossal thing could be done!
However, the married couple treated me very friendly, although Madame Venus always had a mocking smile and a somewhat compassionate expression, as if she was thinking: “In essence, I feel sorry for you, poor earthworm!” This proud condescension of the pagan goddess often angered me...
Her husband Vulcan was a kind, honest guy. He took me to all corners of the underworld and showed me all the workshops.
From him I learned that the mountain consists of nothing but ash, which is thrown out of his stove. Vulcan also told me that he is often forced to punish his Cyclops by throwing red hot coals at them, and the Cyclops deftly throw these coals to the surface of the earth. “Our discord,” Vulcan continued, “sometimes last for whole months. Then fire, sparks, stones, lava appear from the crater. You people call all these phenomena eruptions. Vesuvius is also one of my workshops; a special underground passage leads there at a depth of at least three hundred and fifty miles under the seabed. People also call the discord that happens in that workshop “eruptions.”
I stayed in the bowels of the earth for several days. Tirelessly I studied the activities and extraordinary way of life of Vulcan and the Cyclops. Little by little I began to get used to the terrible heat inside the earth. The attention with which Vulcan surrounded me aroused the enmity and envy of his courtiers. Everyone tried to denigrate and slander me in his eyes. And one day, without saying a word, Vulcan grabbed me by the hand and dragged me into some room unknown to me. There he lifted me over something like a well and said:
- Go, ungrateful mortal, to the world from where you came!
With these words, he released my hand, and I flew into the abyss.
I flew down with terrifying speed; It took my breath away and finally I lost consciousness. I don’t remember how long I flew; I came to my senses, finding myself in a large lake. The water refreshed me and brought me to my senses. It was a clear, sunny day.
From a young age I was an excellent swimmer. No wonder I felt at home. Being in the lake seemed like paradise compared to what I had experienced. There was nothing around except water. The climate of the area in which I found myself seemed quite cold to me, in contrast to the hellish heat of the underworld.
Suddenly, some huge rock appeared on the horizon, slowly moving towards me. It was a floating ice mountain. I swam to it, chose a convenient place and climbed to the top. But, to my greatest despair, the land was not visible from there either.
Finally, when it got dark, a ship appeared, heading for the ice mountain on top of which I was standing. As soon as he got closer, I screamed with all my might. They answered me in Dutch. I jumped into the sea and swam to the ship. From the crew I learned that we were in the Pacific Ocean. - Page 20 -Then everything became clear to me. Having fallen into a crater on Etna, I fell through the center of the globe into the Pacific Ocean. I can say that this road is much shorter than the one that goes around the world. I was the first to make this journey and, if I ever have to repeat it, I will take more careful observations of what I encounter along the way.
Having refreshed myself, I lay down to hand over
The next morning the Dutch informed me that the purpose of their journey was new discoveries.
We followed the glorious path once followed by Captain Cook. In the morning we were in Botany Bay, where the British exile their criminals. This place is so rich, nature has scattered its gifts so generously that England should have established not prisons here, but colonies, and sent worthy people there as rewards.
We stayed here for three days. On the fourth day after we left Botany Bay a terrible storm broke out, which battered us badly. All the sails were torn, the masts were knocked down and broken. One of the masts fell on the box where the compass was lying and broke it into pieces.
Anyone who has traveled by sea understands well what it means to lose a compass. Without it, the sailor is at great risk.
At last the squall passed, and a fresh fair wind filled our sails. For three months we sailed without stopping; We've gone through a lot during this time. Suddenly something strange began to happen to us, which we could not explain to ourselves: we could breathe easily, we felt some kind of special cheerfulness and uplifting of spirit; An extremely pleasant fragrance could be heard from everywhere, and even the sea changed its color - from green it became white.
Soon the ground appeared. We saw a very convenient bay and entered it. Instead of water there was very tasty milk.
We went ashore. All the spicy stuff was nothing more than huge cheese. This would never have occurred to us if not for chance.
We had a sailor who had some strange, irresistible physical aversion to cheese. On the shore he began to feel sick and soon lost consciousness. Having come to his senses, he begged for the cheese to be removed. Having looked around carefully, we then understood everything: it turned out that the entire island was one huge circle of cheese.
The islanders eat only cheese, but what they eat during the day is replenished at night. Grapes grew everywhere on the island, but when they were squeezed, milk flowed, not grape juice.
The islanders are tall, more than two meters, beautiful and walk like people, despite the fact that they have three legs. They have one arm, and when they reach adulthood, they have a horn on their forehead, which they use very skillfully. The islanders walk and run along the surface of their dairy harbor as calmly as we do on the ground or meadow.
On this cheese island there grew a lot of rye with ears in the form of a huge fleshy mushroom, where there was baked bread that could be taken and eaten.
We walked a lot around this wonderful island and found seven rivers of milk and two of beer.
On the sixteenth day of the journey we came to the opposite side of the island. Here we came across vast plains of moldy cheese, so highly prized by connoisseurs. Instead of cheese worms, as one would expect, excellent fruit trees grew on these vast plains: peaches, apricots and many others completely unknown to us.
All these trees amazed us with their size. There were many birds' nests on them. We were struck by a huge nest of a gigantic eagle, which was no smaller than the roof of the Cathedral of St. Paul's in London, It was skillfully made from several huge trees. It contained at least - I say this without any exaggeration - five hundred eggs. Each egg was the size of a twelve-bucket barrel.
After much work and effort, we broke one egg and found a chick there, which was more than twenty adult kites.
At that very moment an eagle flew in, grabbed the captain and lifted him up a whole mile. Having struck him several times in the air with its wings, the bird threw the captain into the sea.
All the Dutch swim like rats, and our captain soon swam ashore. We all returned to the ship.
We took a different route to the harbor, where, to our surprise, we found a lot of new, interesting and unprecedented things. So, we shot two wild bulls with one horn on the forehead between the eyes.
Then we very much regretted this, as we learned that the islanders skillfully tame bulls, which walk well both in harness and under saddle. The meat of these bulls is tasty and nutritious, but the people, as I said, eat only milk and cheese; They don’t know meat food here at all.
It was two days away from the harbor. We walked along the edge of the forest. In one place we saw three hanged men hanging on the branches of a tall tree. I learned that they were hanged because, upon returning from a trip, they shamelessly lied, describing areas they had not seen and adventures that did not happen.
I found that they were treated fairly: every traveler must, of course, be truthful.
Returning to the ship, we weighed anchor and parted with this wonderful country.
As we left the harbor, the huge trees growing along the shore bowed to the ground twice before us.
For three days we rushed along the waves, not knowing where we were. Suddenly we noticed that the water in the sea had become completely black. - Page 21 - One of us decided to try this inky water and - lo and behold! - it turned out that it was not water, but wonderful wine. Everyone began to scoop and drink this water. Increased supervision was needed to ensure that the sailors did not get too drunk. Alas! The prosperity did not last long. Our ship was very soon surrounded by whales and other sea monsters. One was so large that even with a telescope it was impossible to judge its size. Unfortunately, we noticed this sea monster when it was already close to us. In one gulp it swallowed our ship with all its masts and sails. Carried away by the current, the ship, which was far from a toy, slipped straight into the stomach and stopped motionless. The air was stuffy and unpleasant.
We found anchors, ropes, boats, barges and many ships swallowed like us. It was terribly dark; without torches it was impossible to take a step. The sun, month and stars ceased to exist for us.
Every day we had repeated ebbs and flows. When the animal swallowed water, there was a high tide, and when the water left the body, the tide came, and all the ships ran aground. In one gulp, according to a rough estimate, the animal usually inhaled more water than in the entire Lake Geneva.
On the second day of our stay in this kingdom of eternal night, at low tide, I, the captain and some of the officers, went on reconnaissance. Of course, we took torches with us. On the way, we met about ten thousand people of different nationalities who gathered for a meeting to decide how to get out of captivity. Many of them have been here for several years.
The minute the chairman opened the meeting, the damned animal began to drink. The water came quickly; we barely made it to our ships, and some got to us by swimming.
A few hours later, when the tide was low again, our meeting resumed. This time I was chosen as chairman. I suggested taking the two largest masts, tying them tightly at the ends, and at the moment when the animal opens its mouth, insert a spreader into it.
Everyone approved of my proposal; I took one hundred of the strongest sailors as assistants and immediately set to work.
As soon as the masts were tied, the animal yawned. We immediately put a spacer in his mouth; one end of it rested on the upper palate, and the other on the lower jaw.
The water, flowing freely into the stomach, quickly rose, and we all finally floated out into the light of God. After a two-week stay in eternal darkness, daylight began to inexpressibly caress our tired eyes and delight our hearts. When we looked around, it turned out that an entire fleet of thirty-five ships had floated out of the animal’s stomach with us.
We left our masts in the monster’s mouth in order to warn other sailors from the sad fate of ending up in this terrible prison, where eternal darkness reigns and where the unfortunate prisoners suffer from a lack of fresh water.
We really wanted to know where we were. Finally, I determined that we are in the Caspian Sea. However, it was completely unclear how we got into it, because this lake is surrounded on all sides by continents and does not communicate with other waters. But one of the inhabitants of the cheese island, whom I took with me, explained it to us very simply. In his opinion, the monster in whose stomach we spent so much time brought us to the Caspian Sea through some underground strait.
Be that as it may, it’s good that we got out to freedom. Now all our efforts were aimed at getting to the ground as quickly as possible.
I was the first to jump ashore, but as soon as I stepped, I immediately came across a huge bear.
“Yeah! buddy, I thought, you came in handy.” I grabbed both of his paws in greeting and began to squeeze them hard. The bear roared desperately, but I was not embarrassed and held his paws until he died of hunger. By this I inspired the respect of all the other bears who from that time did not dare to cross my path.
From here I went to St. Petersburg. Here one of my old friends gave me a very valuable dog, born from the same dog that, as I already told, was whelped while chasing a hare.
To my greatest disappointment, this dog did not live with me for long. She was once shot by a clumsy hunter while hunting. I ordered a vest to be made from her skin. When I put it on hunting, it pulled me to where the game was. As soon as I approached her to shoot, at that very moment a button came off the vest and flew to where the animal or bird was hiding. The trigger of my gun was always cocked, I shot, as everyone knows, without missing, so no game escaped my shot. Now there are only three buttons left on the vest, but when the hunt begins, my jacket will be decorated with two rows of new buttons. Visit me then, and - believe me! - you won't be bored. However, gentlemen, today let me say goodbye and wish you a pleasant sleep!